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Transgender or Gender Fluid?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Spoopy Monster, Sep 5, 2016.

  1. Spoopy Monster

    Regular Member

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    So, I am a biological female, but I (currently) identify as gender fluid. But recently, I've been seriously questioning whether I'm gender fluid or completely transgender. I've looked at SO many sources and talked to SO many people, but I'm still lost. I've looked at the reasons why I would be trans and the reasons why I wouldn't.

    Here they are:
    - I suffer severe body dysphoria (to the point where I want to rip my skin off to have a male body). This has led me to self-harm and severe depression in the past.
    - I act and think more like a man than a woman.
    - When I try to picture myself in the future, I can't even picture a women, only a man.
    - I prefer male pronouns and a male name more than female/neutral names and pronouns.
    - I like male clothing and prefer to bind my chest and pack.
    - I've found myself identifying less and less as female now. Instead, I seem to identify more and more as male or androgynous.
    BUT:
    - I occasionally like to wear dresses, makeup, and jewelry.
    - I seem to like a lot of 'female things' as well as 'male things'.
    - There are no other LGBT members of my family, so they aren't the most excepting. (It makes me afraid to 'change' anything)
    - When I was younger, I wasn't the most 'girly' child, but at times I was. (I always felt completely cisgender growing up.)

    I've been questioning myself like this for almost 2 months, and I've been openly gender fluid for 4 months. So I guess it's all still pretty new.
    At one point, I actually came up with a term for myself based on the meanings of the previous terms. (I'm pretty sure I completely made this up) Gender fluid transsexual. Basically, in my mind, meaning: A person who wants to/has changed their physical sex but does not completely identify with the typical gender associated with that sex. Instead they identify as genderfluid. Now, I realize that it's kinda silly, but it was the only thing that made any sense to me at the time. So, I went with it. But after having enough people tell me that it was complete crap, I stopped going by that term. (it was made up anyway, I guess) So now, I don't know what to think! Every time I look in the mirror I seem to ask myself, "Girl or boy?". I've been really confused about this for a long time, and I was wondering if anybody out there could help me figure it out. Please, I really need it... :help::bang::tears:
     
  2. Snidi

    Regular Member

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    Hi there!

    I'm sorry I can't help you with your question...only you can truly understand your identity. But of course I fully support: if it makes you feel any better, I've often felt gender fluid myself...

    1) Are there moments now you ever feel like a girl/woman?

    2) If you were to make a percentage, what percent of you feels male and what percent female?

    3) Would you feel happy if you transitioned? Every single day? Five years from now? Ten years? Twenty years?

    4) How would you feel if you woke up tomorrow as a man and can never be a woman EVER again?
     
  3. SystemGlitch

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    Most of the things in your "BUT" section are gender expression, not gender identity. The only times gender expression have a relationship with gender identity are when you deliberately change your gender expression to portray your gender identity (for example, a transman cutting his hair so that he passes as male more easily) or when a child insists they need to play with certain toys or dress a certain way because it is what their gender does (a trans girl telling her parents she needs to wear dresses because all the other girls do, for example). It is perfectly possible to be a feminine trans man, just like it is possible to be a feminine cis man. It's also a good idea to note that not everyone "knows" or "sees" that they are trans during their childhood, there aren't always signs there. :slight_smile: If you feel like there are times where you wish to present and be treated/seen as female, because it's how you feel inside of yourself at those times, then that to me suggests you are genderfluid - otherwise it seems more that you are binary transgender and smashing the gender roles. :slight_smile:

    That said, only you can figure out what your gender identity is. If genderfluid feels like the correct term for you, I say go with it. Same for binary transgender. Also, I don't see "genderfluid transsexual" as stupid at all. It's the exact same as saying FTM transsexual or MTF transsexual, which I've seen used before without issue - the "flavor" of transgender that you are (whether that's FTM, MTF, genderfluid, or anything else) followed by transsexual to show that you've undergone/wish to undergo SRS. It's actually a pretty sensible way of putting it.
     
  4. darkcomesoon

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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm a trans man, and I like dresses and "female things". Those things have nothing to do with what gender you are; they are just gender expression. If those are the only reasons you think you're genderfluid, you're probably a trans guy. But of course, you know your gender much better than I ever could. Given that your "BUT" list doesn't contradict you being a trans guy (although that doesn't mean there couldn't be other reasons for you to ID as something else), what gender do you think you are?
     
    #4 darkcomesoon, Sep 7, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2016