I am currently just beginning the journey of questioning my gender, but it is making me feel extremely nervous. I am scared about how my friends and family will react if I do take any steps. I am just finding the whole thing overwhelming and pretty intimidating. I also don't know if I will ever let myself fully explore myself due to anxiety, and I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to deal with these feelings around finding your gender identity?
I went to a trans support group and the woman there said "You can create a million different scenarios in your head about the way coming out will turn out, and the reality won't be the same as any of them." So I guess from this it isn't good to worry about the way your family/friends will react, as whatever the way you think it will happen, there's a good chance it won't. Also, whenever you come out, unless they're already trans supportive, there's a good chance they will go through the "five stages of grief" - and even if they are trans supportive, if it's not affected them before, they might still go through it. It doesn't mean they hate you, it means they're on their way to accepting you for what you really are. During these stages to acceptance, I'd just talk politely to them about the steps you want to take, and discuss any questions that they might have. If you think it's best, perhaps come out to one person who you're closest to or who will be the most accepting, and then they can help the other people when you come out to them. In terms of things other than coming out, I write characters that are non-binary or trans - and have cis characters accept them or on their way to. I also listen to trans related music or music I think fits in with the trans theme even if it's unintentional. I also go to a youth group for people who are LGBT so if you can [you don't need to tell family/friends you're going specifically for LGBT - just call it a youth club] to meet up with others like you and will support you. Hope this helps.
Thanks so much for the reply, you are totally right. To be honest, I'm still in the exploration phase and will probably not start coming out for ages. I also don't have that many friends and probably wouldn't be too bothered if they had a problem with me. I am hoping that once I can move away from home I can start moving in LGBT circles and making some trans and LGB friends. That would hopefully make the whole experience much easier. I am pretty scared about telling my parents, but they love me and although it will be hard for them I hope they will come round. My plan is to slowly change my look which may hint to people that something is up, which will make the whole coming out process easier. I have some worries about my uncles and aunt, but I only really see them at birthday things and I'm not that close to them so I'm not that bothered. Again thanks so much for your response, I feel loads better now. Sorry for the essay!
