Hi all, I've been trying to find an online resource that is appropriate for me. I will begin by saying my apologies for anyone I may offend or invalidate. This is all rather new to me. I haven't come out to anyone. I'm not even sure of myself right now. Obviously, I'm not using my name, but the name Silverlight was a name I used a long time ago in a game, and I felt a real connection to it. I am, or rather born, male. 24 years old. I have always felt a little out of place. Growing up, I can remember questioning myself. My sexuality and my gender identity. Back then, I didn't understand it. As I entered my teen years, I can remember thinking how great it would be if I were female. I had very long hair for a man, I hated how it was always messy. I tried to make it look nice. I was envious of females clothes. I always loved how nice they looked. Then at times, I felt distinctly male. I was interested in male things. Looking masculine, being in good shape, being strong, etc. It was only about a week ago that I began to question if I was gender fluid. I had to cut my hair for work several years ago, but I've been trying to grow it back out. I miss how it looked. Often times, I have trouble looking at myself in the mirror; it just doesn't feel like me sometimes. My revelation came at work. I was walking in the city for work and thought about it. It instantly made sense to me. I sometimes felt very much male, then often times, randomly, would feel female. I'm not sure what triggers my changes yet, but I'm trying to pay attention to figure it out. Again, I'm very new to this. I'd appreciate any advice you all can give me. I apologize for typos, I write this on my phone. Thank you. Silverlight
Okay, I'm not sure how much advice I can give but I'll try I'm AFAB (Assigned Female At Birth, I guess a nicer way of saying "born female") so I don't have any first-hand experience with AMAB (Assigned Male At Birth) transition. What do you need advice with? I'll give general advice for now but I can try to help with any specific issues you have. First off, I think it's important to ask yourself why you feel like you should be female some days. Interests like wearing female clothing and being strong aren't indicative of gender. Those are only stereotypes, you can be a male and be feminine. That makes you gender non-conforming. Then there's something called gender dysphoria, if you haven't already heard of that. There's physical and social dysphoria. Physical dysphoria is discomfort with your body, specifically primary and secondary sex characteristics. Social dysphoria is discomfort with pronouns (yours are presumably he/him/his right now) and the way you are seen by others (male, in your case). If you experience dysphoria, it's likely that you're some form of transgender (genderfluid falls under the trans umbrella). If you want to start presenting as female and/or exploring your identity further, I guess there's also a physical and social part to it. There are a ton of pronouns you can use if you're uncomfortable with he/him/his. Firstly, you can always you she/her/hers on your female days. Then there are some less common and gender neutral pronouns. There's the singular "they/them/theirs" and ze/ (like he but with the z) hir/hirs (pronounced like hear). Many more but I couldn't list them all here :lol: You can also change your name to a unisex one or use a female name on your female days or you could always keep your birth name. As for the physical side of things, I really don't know everything or the various methods but I'll list what I know. You can use different ways of padding to create breasts and I believe wider hips as well. There's also tucking and hair removal (shaving, I believe waxing is more effective and electrolysis is permanent). I've seen facial contouring with makeup for FTMs and I'm sure there's something similar for MTF and non-binary folk too You can wear wigs, if you like, until your hair grows out. I'm not sure about surgical or hormonal transition for genderfluid people. I think any surgeries for transfeminine/MTF people is all you'll be able to get at this point in time. It's perfectly fine if you don't want surgery or hormones though, many trans people are non-op. As for coming out, you don't ever have to if you don't want to. I'd make sure that you know the person's views on the LGBT community first and make sure you're entirely comfortable with the situation too. You can always look up YouTube videos on how to come out, as well as passing tips. I'm positive there's older threads on this site as well as articles on other websites that offer helpful advice. I hope I've helped, even if only a little Good luck with your journey and you can always send me a wall message or PM if you like ^_^
AFAB Genderfluid here. Well, in the end, the only person who can tell whether or not you're genderfluid is you, but what you're feeling certainly sounds like what I felt when I first figured things out. While things such as having long hair and being in shape (for example, I don't stop liking my short hair and wanting the ability to bench-press a bus when I'm female, and when I'm male, I don't want to stop making my hair look nice, wearing earrings and sometimes makeup) are in no way indicative of your gender, that feeling of the gender you are assumed to be not reflecting the true you is. Gender is a feeling that you are male, female, or otherwise. It's sort of like a gut feeling, a certainty of who you are. It really is hard to explain. I don't know much about your situation in particular, but it sounds a lot to me of my own experience of genderfluidity, with looking in the mirror and getting that "this isn't me" feeling on some days, but being fine with it on others. In the end, it's how you feel that will decide your gender identity. If you can't seem to narrow things down, just do what you want and forget about calling yourself anything.
