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Any Way To Stop Being So Affected By Genderfluidity?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Snidi, Sep 13, 2016.

  1. Snidi

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    I always get the feeling that there would be a way to stop gender fluidity, especially considering that only recently have I felt those feelings so strongly. Would there be an alternative? A way to derive pleasure from other sources besides wearing dresses? I don't inherently want to be a woman- I don't want to have to go through the unnecessary pain of a gender operation- that feels nightmarish. Unfortunately, it's been hard to survive as a man as well. I have felt stuck in limbo, having been trapped between both identities, unable to truly forge my own.
     
  2. I'm gay

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    I don't think you can stop or prevent your shifting feelings of your gender any more than I could stop being gay. Believe me, I tried. You can hide it, you can deny it, you can hate yourself for it. None of that will change it.

    You also need to consider why you think that feeling like a woman necessarily means wearing dresses. You are caught up in the gender norms that you were taught all your life, and so even when you feel female at times, you reject the idea because for you it means dressing like a woman, behaving like a woman, and that doesn't feel right to you either. If you cling to your rigid notions of what female looks like to you, I think you will continue to experience this dysphoria.

    I had a similar problem decades ago. I thought that being gay necessarily meant being effeminate, dressing in drag or leather, etc. Those notions were caused by the limited exposure I had to what was labeled as gay in media. I didn't know anyone who was gay and I only had what I saw as examples of what gay means. I had no idea that gay came in all colors of the spectrum. I wish I had understood that then.

    There is no one way that you are required to experience your gender. You really do need to forge your own, as it's the only real experience you will ever have.
     
  3. Creativemind

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    Wearing dresses doesn't make you a woman or a genderfluid person, it just makes you a crossdresser. Whether done for fetish reasons or personal comfort, a man can wear a dress and be a man.

    Genderfluidity exists. But It's not tied to stereotypes or gender roles, It's tied to psychology and dysphoria. So first, I would consider you to think whether or not you feel like a woman without the dresses.
     
  4. Synesthesia

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    You should focus on self affirming stuff that has nothing to do with clothes I guess. Although there's nothing wrong with wearing dresses if you want to.