( I'm afab btw ) So I've deeply questioned my gender for about 2 total months, in which, every hour, it would be on my mind, for every day of the month. That was a month or so ago. Whenever people ask me "when did you start thinking/questioning?" I say a couple of months, and they all say that I'm probably confused cuz it's all new to me. Except, I remember ever since I was in 5th grade ( which is about 4 years ago ), I would identify as a tomboy, because I felt masculine. Although I didn't really understand why I felt that way, I don't even act masculine much, I just felt comfortable with that term, so I used it. Now realizing what I actually am ( non-binary, basically ), I understand that the younger me couldn't understand that inner masculine side of themselves, and since they were not familiar with the term non-binary, they decided to identify as something that was masculine but was not a male. I also remember that last year, I told my mom that I was a tomboy and she said that I wasn't one because I'm not masculine ( which is like saying "you're not trans enough", I got hurt, but I couldn't understand why ). I still didn't think about it too much, just a little, but I decided to identify as a tomboy either way ( still not aware of non-binary people ). Then a couple of months ago, I wore man clothing and felt comfortable in them and started deep thinking everything ( for 2 whole months ). Those 2 months were really rough, I could barely concentrate in school and my dysphoria was real high. So, what I'm trying to say is, when can you say that you've been questioning, like, what are the requirements? Can you say that you've been questioning if you only think about it rarely, don't know any terms that fit with what you're feeling so you just brush it off? Is questioning the period in which you deep think so hard that you can't even concentrate? Or is it something in between?
I honestly don't think gender identity is something that is required to stem from your childhood, though of course as you mentioned childhood is a time when you may not understand your feelings just yet. Remember gender identity is highly subjective and depends largely on the individual, because you are the only one who truly knows what you're experiencing or feeling and sometimes deciphering that within ourselves can be difficult. If you feel you do not relate entirely to the sex you were assigned at birth then you have every right to be a part of the trans community. It's entirely acceptable and valid for you to be just now experiencing these changes, especially within your age range, where you will be going though a lot of change. I didn't start experiencing my own gender identity exploration until I was your age either, and even then I wasn't fully aware of it until only recently, many years later, though now there are more resources and exposure it seems for non binary individuals which is fortunate. I would say there are no requirements, don't force yourself to fit into an identity you feel makes you more one way or the other if you're feeling invalid. Simply be yourself, and base your identity off of your true self expression. Not having a clear label or definition can be intimidating but it can also be more accurate. If you think about it, especially as intensely lately as you've been thinking about it (and I completely relate to this and understand what you're going through when it comes to thinking intensely about gender identity and expression, I've been thinking about it intensely too), then you're questioning. I would advise you not to focus so deeply on it though that it prevents you from living your daily life because at this point you're still questioning and because you're still figuring out your identity, there's nothing to act on at this point to ease the intensity of your focus. Live your life, don't think so hard about gender identity, and see how you feel and how you express yourself, let it happen naturally, don't force it or overthink it and move from there. Those of us in the trans community seem to define our own identities based on how we define ourselves, and it is through that self assurance that we become who we feel we are, though it's all a very highly individualized process.
I would say that this definitely counts Also, you are the one that should have the last word, if you feel trans or not. And you seems to have thought this through! When someone asks you for how long you were questioning, consider that it can be quite personal... let's say they are acquantainces, you could always avoid the answer; or tell them something that won't be reversed on you. Like that you started questioning about four years ago, and that would be true; but, as I said before, you could also say you feel that way, and that would be true as well
This is an interesting question...really you can say whatever you want and you don't have to justify yourself to anyone. But still it's interesting to distinguish between questioning and just feeling off or having dysphoria before you even knew what it meant. I only started openly considering that I was trans maybe a year ago, yet I remember trying to stand and pee as young as 6 years old and wanting to get my reproductive organs removed as young as 13 years old. I chose my male name about six years ago. In middle school I used to want to get my hip bones shaved down. I stopped taking Spanish because I was uncomfortable with how gendered it was. I denied being a soprano because I didn't think my voice could be that high. I've been trying to prove I'm as strong as genetic males from a very young age. I've been bothered by female specific words for at least 8 years. But still, I only started really questioning a year ago. That's when I started piecing things together and couldn't stand it anymore.
