Hi everyone, heres what's been going on: I have been going to general therapy for a while now because of my depression that's related to my gender, (most) of my family supports me and my therapist has been telling me that I might not need to take any more appointments because of how collected and sure I am when it comes to be being trans. I have been wanting a gender therapist for a very long time and I've talked to my mom about it. What she told me is that we can look for one when I'm truly ready, now the problem is I want to get a gender therapist as soon as possible because of how long it usually takes until you're approved to go on hormones and I want T before I'm completely done with puberty (usually puberty ends at around 18-19 in my family, my brother got a huge growth spurt at 18 and now hes 6 ft 3in). The problem is I'm worried if I'm going too fast. Like am I rushing things? Will I get overly stressed out? I don't know, I'm just worried I'll regret things if I rush, but I'm worried I'll also regret things if I wait until I'm older. What did You trans men do to know for sure? Any kind of advice can help me a lot. Thank you all for reading!
A gender therapist isn't just there to help you get hormones, but it also there as a support I think the best thing you should do is start looking for a gender therapist immediately, and once you go in and they ask what your goals are, you should tell them one of your immediate goals is to start testosterone as soon as possible, but also you need help with your depression. :/ You therapist SHOULD know what you struggle with, so telling them upfront about your depression might be best, even if it delays the process a little... It shouldn't unless it's really bad... Of course, you should make sure you like the therapist, and that they're the right one for you- I've had two awesome therapists, but with the most recent one I've come to seriously doubt at times if she is the right one for me... I am still seeing her atm though, just because I want to give her a proper chance because, tbh, I don't want to go through the process of finding a therapist all over again. May I ask how old you are? Unfortunately I am almost completely full grown, so I'm obviously jealous you're not. If I could go back in time, I would start testosterone as young as 12, when I was first having those changes, but since it's too late now I can only build on what I am... Anyway, the therapist will be evaluating you, probably making sure you don't have any mental illnesses or any issues that might be relevant to you taking hormones. If you're emotionally mature, they should write you a letter eventually. :/ I know it's tempting, but don't try to cheat the system and buy testosterone online or anything- you can easily overdose and end up making more estrogen that way...
I'm 17, but in less than a month I'll turn 18. Because of this I'm scared of running out of time and possibly missing a golden opportunity (like the infamous late growth spurt) when it comes to taking Testosterone. I wish I could go back in time to lil me and tell them "HEY GET ON T OR YOU'LL REGRET GETTING HIPS AND DDD BREASTS TRUST ME" Thank you for telling me that gender therapists can do more than just get me hormones, I'll tell my mother right now so we can look for one that's close. Luckily I'm mature (at least when I'm not around my friends) so hopefully I can get a letter soon!
I know how you feel, I'm pre-transition too. Even though I'm 13 and you're 17, I feel like we're kind of in the same boat here. Obviously, I HAVE to wait to do anything towards transition whether I like it or not due to my age. But that doesn't mean I want to. My goal is to try to start T somewhere around 15, although I do not know that laws in my state regarding the subject. You're almost 18, and in most states, that's how old you have to be to make medical decisions regarding this stuff for yourself. (I'm not one to be giving advice, honestly) But from what I've researched, my personal opinion is wait until you're 18. It's not too far off right? I know you want to start transitioning as soon as possible, believe me, I know. But 18 is actually a very good age to start transitioning apparently. Don't focus so much on the 'I'm running out of time!' stuff. Even though it might not seem like it, 18 is still 'young'. And not everyone's puberty ends at 18. From people I know, a lot of their puberties ended around 19-20 actually. Even though taking hormones is a long process that IS better to start early, there are a lot of people who don't even transition until later in life, and it seems to go just fine. So just try to remember that (for the most part, kind of a personal statement) your options are pretty much open for a LONG time regarding hormones. Tecnically, you have until you're 51-60 (depending on where you live). After that age, HRT is not recommended. But just remember that there is a very long distance from 18 to 60. You'll get there eventually, if it's what you really want then I'm sure it will happen. Good luck
Actually, since you live in the US, as long as you parents are on board, you don't have to wait that long. Also, you're still young enough that you can go on blockers to prevent further permanent effects of (female) puberty.
I think there comes a time where you know that you're ready for the next step. I questioned for 2 years before i felt comfortable coming out and started accepting that I was a guy. Therapy wouldn't be a bad idea if you're still in the questioning, unsure stages but I would definitely wait it out and make sure that you're certain that you want to start T. Some aspects of going on hormone therapy are irreversible and that's a big thing to deal with. Id suggest making a list of the pros and cons, work out how you see yourself in the future. Ensure that HRT is definitely the right path for you. Talking it out with a therapist may help clear things up for you.
It's never too soon to see a gender therapist. They'll help you decide if you are ready for T, and maybe help get you on blockers.
