Hesitant about spending on clothes, wig(s), etc + More Stuff

I had to make a similar decision regarding the purchase of a binder for myself. I'd always put such things off, feeling hesitant about "wasting" money.

But really, it isn't a waste. You deserve to feel and be beautiful. It is well worth the expense to gain that extra confidence and dip in dysphoria.

Finance being a concern, perhaps you should consider purchasing one thing at a time? Like, with this paycheck you can get a wig. The next paycheck you set aside a few pounds for that outfit. And so forth.

My advice, do whatever you can right now. Extend all the respect and care toward yourself that you do for your loved ones. Don't put things indefinitely off, but make a plan for how to deal with legitimate needs. To be confident and comfortable with yourself is good for you in the long run.

Best wishes.

 

What he said. But I'd also add that you don't HAVE to spend a lot of money on most of that stuff. The only exception would be a wig. You don't want a shitty wig. But jewelry? It doesn't have to be nice. Get fake stuff. Like a couple bucks each. Makeup? You prolly dont want the cheapest stuff you can find but just get a few pieces of important stuff like idk, mascara, concealer, whatevs. As for clothes, try out thrift stores.

I'd also like to add that you don't really have to do any of this in any particular order. You don't have to pass to start HRT. A lot of people don't even start trying to pass until they've started HRT, not that I'm saying that's the greatest idea, just saying you can do whatever makes you comfortable. But I do think it's a good idea to try things out and treat yourself!

 

So about clothes you can work with less money. Same goes with earrings. I know you girls can spend lots of money while shopping so please try to hold back I don't know if a wig is necessary, you can also grow your hair and make it a feminine style. But don't go cheap on makeup, especially in foundation. You'll regret it later some of the products look like you had smashed a cake in your face.

Other progress you could make: Vocal training. I am not sure but if transdudes can train to lower their voice you might can train to heighten your voice. Also you could walk more feminine (if you don't do that already).

 

In terms of clothes, buy outfits you think would work for your body type, see how they fit, and if they don't look good on you return them and try again until you find things that work for you.

 

You're not spending the money on wigs and clothes etc, you're spending money on investing in yourself, and you're worth that

 

Believe me, once you wear the clothes and look at yourself in the mirror, you'll be happy. To this day, it still makes me smile. You'll make progress, we all do!

 

Start now. It's not to impress others but to feel better about yourself.

 

"Rushing into this" by considering buying clothes and makeup? Hardly. That's a good place to start. Passing may be hard or impossible at this early stage, but it's not like clothes have an expiration date. They'll be there, also helping make you look and feel a little more like yourself the whole time.

If you're going to live as yourself, you're going to need the things you want eventually. You'll be spending it sooner or later, so if you have that money now, why not make yourself happy and just get the stuff now?

I've had similar concerns about binders and packers etc. and I couldn't stop obsessing over it until I actually bit the bullet and bought them. Best decision ever, now I have them, I love them, and I don't keep stressing about it. It doesn't matter that I don't "pass" in terms of being worth the price, those things make me happy on their own. I think it may be similar for you. It was a lot of money, a few hundred dollars total at least, which was not very affordable. But once it was spent, the burden was off my shoulders. Once I had the things I needed, I actually worried less about money after that.

 

I'm no wig expert, but some of them can be styled. Really, they tend to be kind of squished in the packaging and need styling before wearing if you dont want to look a hot mess. Real hair and high quality wigs can take heat, so flat iron or curling iron or whatever. Cheap ones melt. If it's synthetic, always check the label before applying heat.

For a costume, I recent sewed some tracks onto a beanie. They were real hair, just bubblegum pink, lol. It didnt look right on its own, so I used water and leave in conditioner and curled it on flexirods overnight. Made it look like it had a natural wave, so that was good.

Ive known a couple of people who have modified wigs, like sewing I wefts fro a donor wig to make it fuller or longer, or using clip in hair for a certain effect.

There are lots of you tube videos on wig styling, by ladies who wear them and by cosplayers and by theater people. You can learn it. Also, in addition to you tube, there is usually someone helpful at the hair store. You can always say it's for a costume if you feel embarrassed.

Oh, and be wary of ordering wigs online. They often look worse in real life than the picture. However, one of my friends found a style she wanted at the store, made sure she liked it, and then ordered it in her preferred color online using the info from the tag at the store. That worked well. Oh, which brings up another helpful thing. If you see a style you like, they may have additional colors of that style in the back. It's a little like a shoe store that way. Worth asking.

But, yeah, with a wig, you get what you pay for. Cheap wigs look cheap. Cheap, crooked wigs give off the vibe you have a drug problem.

Have you looked around to see if there are any short, natural styles that would suit you? Or, is there anything you need to help protect your hair to keep it from breaking so you can grow it out?

Good luck!

 

^_^ this (*hug*)

 

There's a way to spent few money on clothes. First come t-shirts and stuff. With that I do already pass. I have a few androgynous trousers and bought my first male jacket yesterday. Maybe a second will follow in a month or so. Shoes could be more important for you than they were for me, I can imagine you're eager to get some high heels. Just go very basic there. I don't know how to feminize your body, maybe some booty workout could help (I'm only wild guessing here)

 

It's also important to remember, you can have shorter hair in a feminine style as well, if your natural hair isn't that long.

 

yes thats true, short hair or long hair doesnt matter with womens hair style. for the first year i had mine cut in a short bob cut. that way i could style it one way and it would be more girlish, but if i did it the other it would be male. as for clothing, buy some lingerie first that way your not spending a huge amount on clothing, and you will be more comfortable wearing them under male clothing if need be.