1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Is it normal to WANT to be a girl?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by AnUnmatchedSock, Sep 19, 2016.

  1. AnUnmatchedSock

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2016
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Arizona
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Let me preface this by saying I'm still a little confused on where I lie within the gender spectrum. I consider myself bigender (with potential mtf trans) but I may feel too fluid/nb for the latter?

    Recently, I found I'm happiest when I feel and want to present as a girl (skirt/sarong, makeup, fully shaved, all that jazz), besides the dysphoria that sets in that I'm not one. To add onto this, I am somewhat dysphoric about my excess body hair and honestly wouldn't mind the results of hormones (feminine curves/features, "shrinkage", etc.). I've also thought about wishing I was born a girl but I also like having 'guy mode' where I present more masculine/neutral or even just doing 'guy things'. However, this is still a matter to me of wanting to be a girl, not necessarily feeling I "AM" a girl. In a similar vein, I feel satisfaction in seeing MTF's transition and think "I want to be like her", etc. To make things even more confusing, some of this stuff isn't entirely consistent and can vary (e.g., I want to be a girl that can be a guy at times).

    Does any of this make sense to anyone or anyone else feel similar? I know it's common for mtf trans to feel they ARE a girl and I understand that, but wanting to be one has me a bit confused?
     
  2. Secrets5

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2015
    Messages:
    1,964
    Likes Received:
    77
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    If you were to present as a girl, see yourself as a girl and have others see you as a girl; as well as having a neutral or female-leaning name and she/her pronouns; as well as AFAB features; would you be the most happiest? or is it doing socially and/or traditionally female things without the previously mentioned things?

    When you want to have a ''guy mode'' is it doing socially and/or traditionally male things without the following mentioned things? or is it being seen as and considering yourself as a guy; with male pronouns and neutral or male-leaning name; with AMAB features?
     
    #2 Secrets5, Sep 20, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2016
  3. Selucia

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2016
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    I feel the same way sometimes. I remember when I was really young I'd try praying to all the gods I could think of, from Zeus to Odin to the Christian and Muslim gods, that I could be a girl, even if just for one day. I felt like if I could have one day, I'd know if I had been born correctly.

    On some days, I'm more than satisfied being AMAB. On others, I feel like I could transition without hesitation. I know my swings though, and I know that it would be exactly the same if I did transition. I'd be perfectly content sometimes, and regret the transition other times. I've come to expect that from gender-fluidity.

    S
     
  4. AnUnmatchedSock

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2016
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Arizona
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    In response to the female things:
    - I would be most happiest if I were dressed and presenting female with some of the afab features (I think tops could be fun and I would like less of the 'beer belly' look; and I DESPISE my body hair).
    - Name and pronouns isn't something I've thought about too much. I already have long hair and I used to get misgendered a lot because of it and it always bothered me. Over the past couple months though, while I (very slightly) prefer male pronouns (for now), I generally don't mind if a cashier/server/etc. misgenders me as a female.
    - Doing socially female stuff.... is essentially debatable structure. I do like doing 'girl' things like shopping (any shopping but if you're talking about for beauty/makeup, it's something that I have fun doing), going to the hair/nail salon, art/drawing, reading for pleasure, etc.; whilst I also like doing 'guy' things like watching sports and playing video games.

    Regarding 'guy mode':
    - It would mostly be doing things normally associated with guys. ('pigging out' at all-you-can-eat wings/pancakes/etc., watching comedy movies/adult cartoons, etc.) Also presenting a little more guyish/neutral with accessories, hairstyle, clothes, etc. I wouldn't mind being seen as a guy by others though or even male terms and pronouns, but I don't like certain associations or behaviors towards me related to being a guy. (Male dominance, being seen as strong/powerful; being seen as good with math/computers/science while ignoring strong suits in communications/english, etc.)
    - As for pronouns and male features, as I stated earlier, I don't have much a preference for the former. The latter... I don't know. I hate my excess body hair and facial hair, but I don't mind my male figure though I do think tops would be fun to have. My voice is a little low to pass as female over the phone but it (my voice) doesn't bother me. If anything, I like it a little on the deep end, but not too deep where it's patent I'm male (think Brian Griffin deep).

    Also I hope I'm quoting you right. Still pretty new here and trying to figure everything out. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
    #4 AnUnmatchedSock, Sep 21, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2016
  5. Secrets5

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2015
    Messages:
    1,964
    Likes Received:
    77
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hello,

    "I don't like certain associations or behavior towards me related to being a guy"
    Does your dysphoria come from not being this way but people still see you that way but still being male? Or is the dysphoria from you being female and not wanting to be seen as having [traditionally] male actions?

    If you were to shave your body/facial hair, would you be okay being seen as a guy?

    A lot of cis people don't mind being misgendered as he/she does not experience any dysphoria towards it.

    When doing the feminine stuff, do you enjoy it because you are female and it [traditionally] affirms your gender, or do you enjoy it as it's breaking the [traditional] social boundaries?
     
  6. AnUnmatchedSock

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2016
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Arizona
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    The bold basically, yeah. I don't mind being seen as a male by others, but I don't like being associated within those groups I listed previously as that's not who I am if that makes sense.

    The bolded bit is kind of where I'm at right now and I don't mind it. I also don't get dysphoric about being misgendered as female nor do I hate male terms and pronouns.

    I like doing the feminine stuff as it's just stuff I like doing in my free time. While I don't like to associate hobbies and interests with gender, I don't get any 'connection' about my inner gender about it other than just expressing my feminine side more.
     
    #6 AnUnmatchedSock, Sep 22, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2016