Hi guys I didn’t know which section to post this in so let me know if its the wrong one. I’m not 100% sure of my gender but leaning towards FTM or Demi boy and I’m 16 I’m supposed to start the gym on Monday after school but I’m terrified I’m extremely anxious and generally awkward I have been planning to go to the gym for just under a year, I was going with friends but they have all dropped out on me and I have tried everything to find someone to go with me but i cant get anyone to go, I have got the forms and am handing them in tomorrow my mum has even taken me out and bought me clothes for the gym and said that if I don’t go she will be extremely pissed but I’m terrified the thought of walking into the gym and other people being there makes me feel sick I’m also worried about change rooms because depending on the person and the clothes I’m wearing I either pass as female, male or they cant tell so some people would see my in the girls change room and think I’m a girl but in the guys change room some guys would see me as a girl I cant win, I’m not 100% out yet some family know and some of my friends know but the gym I’m going to is run by my school so I’m afraid of running into people I know. I have tried all ways of exercising but I lack the motivation and will power to get up and go for a run etc. when I could stay in my bed so the only way I’m going to exercise is if I go to a gym and mum will get mad if I don’t go coz she has to pay. I’m just terrified and I have no clue what to do I don’t want to disappoint my mum and myself but I’m too scared to go. what the heck do I do? or any advice? :bang::tears::help::icon_sad:
If this is solely about the changing room situation, I'd simply change at home or any gender neutral bathroom the gym might have. This is also coming from personal experience, most people are way too focused on themselves to really notice other people. They might give you a quick look but then they'll concentrate on their own workout.
I don't know about your gym, but from my experience they usually have at least one or two stalls you can change in - of course I use the female changing rooms, but I just asked my dad and he says that the male ones usually do, as well. And to echo what AaronV said, people don't really look at others in the actual gym or the changing room - from experience, changing rooms at gyms generally only have one or two people in them at any given time (many times, I've been the only person in there as I'm tying my hair back or whatever) so it's very unlikely that you'll be walking into a massively crowded space. As for the gym itself, again, people rarely look at each other because exercise takes a lot of concentration if you're doing it the hard way, which most people at the gym are. I used to get nervous about seeing people I knew at the gym, but I rarely do, and if it really bothers you then try to go at times where the gym will most likely be fairly empty, such as late in the evening or at dinner time when there are few people there.
Just from my own experiences, I don't use the changing rooms at the gym anymore. I just stick my bag in the locker and crack on. It's bad enough being viewed as a female, than having to accept that physically I have the chest appendages that females do and change in front of people in the changing room. I change at home, make sure I don't need the loo at the gym and stay in my own bubble. I listen to my own music, don't talk to many people and just go to town on the weights.
