Im sorry if this is the wrong forum. I often find myself coming here and then stare at the forum overview and get lost in thoughts. Only to finally click the whole screen away again. So I just picked one without to much thought lol so sorry. I came out to my girkfriend around 6 months ago. Im transgender (currently male). I have since told a few close friends and went straight into therapy. My first real reason was to learn and cope with the desires I have and stay male. But the longer I open myself op to new possibilities and the more trans women I see (like Gigi Gorgeous for instance, her male face and body was exactly like mine is now) the more I realise that I have been fooling myself into thinking I could ever "learn to be male." The cycle Im in is I try to be male, act really masculine and try to be what people want. And then behind closed doors I over compensate and shoot the oposite way in an extreem way. That kind of stopped 2 months ago and I am trying to be more of an hybrid. I dress male and female but mixed in 1 outfit. I wear mild make up and you know, just adding girly stuff (to the disliking of my gf but she is giving me space to explore which is so amazing). But now I am even more confused. One day I am sure I want to stay with my gf and the next I see myself as a woman in the mirror and Im a 100% sure I want to go into transition. Only to change my mind again the next day. It is driving me crazy. How the **ll will I ever know what to do? Im so confused
