This is my first post here, so hello, everyone! My name is Danny and I am a 19 year old female-to-male transgender. I'm posting this right now with hopes of finding "solutions" for the very frustrating situation that I have to go through every day. For the past year, I have tried my best to start being “identified” as male on a social environment – for example, being called “Sir” instead of “Ma’am” by a cashier at the store, without having to tell them my name! Sadly, despite all my efforts, everyone still sees me as a woman and, honestly, that just brings me down and makes me want to give in to what society wishes for me to be. I have tried multiple things, in order to look “more manly”, but everything was in vain. For example: - I mainly wear sweatpants and t-shirts or other types of “baggy” clothing, together with a binder; - I have tried multiple haircuts, since I’ve considered the possibility of some looking more “girly” than others; - I address myself with male pronouns, in public places; - I have tried to correct my posture and way of walking, so that they’d be less female; - Etc; Despite all of this, I am still addressed by female pronouns (even by my family, who is not so supportive) anywhere I go and everyone always seems to know that “I’m a girl”. I honestly don’t know what more I can do, nor why this keeps happening, despite all my attempts. Could the problem possibly come from my height? I’m actually quite short (1,50m), even for someone born physically female. Or is it something else? Maybe my postures aren't correct? I really don't know. Basically, what I am asking here is for some tips that could possible help me out. Thank you!
First of all, welcome! Second - and I know this might sound really harsh - some people simply pass better without hormones than others. Hormones will probably help you a lot in the long run. I think your height is definitely a factor. A friend of mine, who is also a transguy is about the same height as you and had problems with passing as well, but now passes 100% after starting t. Just try to remember that even though passing is very important to a lot of transpeople, your identity is still valid and you are still a guy. You could start training your voice to become lower or start working out. Both of these things could help you passing a bit more often.
Hey man, sorry, I know that can be really frustrating.. Have you tried this guide? The FTM's Complete Illustrated Guide to Looking Like a (Hot) Dude It's pretty extensive and seems to have some excellent tips. Good luck Danny
That makes totally sense, thank you for the help. Hope I can start my T next year! Oh yeh, I will try that too, thank you! Oh wow, that guide is actually really helpful, thanks for sharing it! Thank you!
Only piece of advice I have is that I've started passing a lot better recently just from standing up straight (I also have 1.25 inch shoe lifts), carrying myself with more confidence, and talking less. The last part is easiest when you are with someone else.
