Talking to my mom. Not going well...

So about a week ago I sent my mom a text asking if I could get a dress to wear to the upcoming homecoming dance this week. I got a straightforward no. When I asked why she said it was "common sense" and told me "no, end of discussion." I was at my dad and stepmom's house (who know already, thank the gods). They were both gone virtually all night but apparently my mother decided to text my father about what I asked her and that he "needed to have a talk with me." He asked her if she had ever heard of the term transgender after a bit of textinguisher between them but she never responded to him. Now, thankfully fore, they don't care what she thinks and offered to take me shopping for some feminine pants and shirt (a compromise instead of a dress, still girls clothes tho). Tomorrow is basically the only time that my stepmom can take me as we live out in a small town about 20 mins from the nearest decent sized town and I don't have my license yet. However, I need to talk with my mom face to face first... I'm not worried about being kicked out as she's more of a roomate and dad and my stepmom have my back but its still REALLY tough for me to talk to her. She has to work tomorrow so I have to get up early to talk to her and this is the absolute LATEST I can do it and still get clothes for the dance... I dont know how to start it or what to do when I get the rejection I know is going to occur though... if anyone can help... Id aprecciate it.

 

Thanks for your replies guys! Chip, getting some stuff from PFLAG would be a good idea except I know she wouldn't read it. She's not one who follows through. I left her some letters about my sexuality and being trans in the hope it would generate some conversation as I have really bad anxiety and starting conversations like them is really difficult for me. The letters never initiated any sort of conversation, negative or otherwise, and I highly doubt that they were even read...
As for the relationship with my mother, it's more like we're roomates rather than mother and child. When I was younger there were a lot of times where I was more of the parent than she was. ItS balaced out since then. So to suffice, my mother and I don't have a good relationship. There's a lot of tension still and she mostly just reads and works. We barely do anything with each other. In other words, our relationship didn't change except for her not taking to me for a week after said text conversation.
I guess I'm just hoping to understand her more from talking to her. As it is, I don't know her reasoning. I've never been able to read my mother so well and this could be my grandfather's narrow-mindedness and stubbornness coming out our it could just be her lack of information. Is like to be able to start transition soon, preferably before mr senior year in high school as i would prefer the parental support in the beginning since I'm not staying herw for college. Thanks for the replies guys! I don't think I'm going to be able to talk to her this morning though... in already freaking out and I just got up lol

 

Thanks for the replies guys!
@Skywinter. I have this huge fascination with people's minds and how they think and react and whatnot. I've gotten good at reading other people but my mother is so distant it makes it hard for me to read her. I want to try to get inside her mind and understand her motives and reasoning even if it's negative for the sake of my own curiosity. Jeez.... that makes me sound like I'm a murderous psychopath lol. I'm not. I just have a soft spot for studying human relations. I really dont know if she'll come around. That's another reason I want to understand her mindset. I'll be able to estimate the likelihood of her coming round based on her answers then. If she refuses to let me transition and it becomes an unhealthy, hostile environment for me, I'll just go in the courts and have custody shifted around to my father. The way it is now is that they teade off every week. If it becomes too negative over at moms i can either blackmail her to change her mindset out actually change custody. I have to do what's best for my health.
@cutecloee. It's alright. I actually like hearing other people's stories. It helps put my life more into perspective. I'm really sorry about your mom. That's really rude and mean what she's said. Having my father there isn't actually an option as their divorced abs tolerate each other at best. One time when I was younger mom threw a computer desk at my father if I remember correctly. So it's up to me to tell her... it's not so much that I'm scared to tell her, it's just that we don't talk about basically anything else except TV shows. Bringing it up is a bit daunting. I'm sure it'll work itself out eventually, whether or not that means she's still in my life or not.
Thanks again guys! I also just want to mention that I went shopping with my stepmom and got an entire outfit for the homecoming dance and it's all girls clothes, pants, a tank top y lace red shirt, and a black jacket to go over it. I'm so excited!

 

I'm sorry about your parents. I know that it sucks. Mom doesn't really take any interest in me in anything which itself is very difficult for me to deal with. It does help knowing that I'm not alone in this. It's not a good situation but it helps. I'm assuming your sister is supportive then? Maybe she could help you with your parents a bit.
@skywinter. I know it doesn't do any good for me. The only problem is that I would really like to start transitioning as soon as possible. I'd like to get a head start on it be free college since I'm not sticking around any of my parents and itll already be a turbulent time as it is. Also, curiosity killed the cat. That is one of my major downfalls. I'm going to just give her some time though. She's always been distant so literally nothing has changed for years in our relationship. I guess it is what it is. Our homecoming dance is on Saturday though so no matter what she thinks, I am going as a girl, and I'm so so so excited. Especially since i know that i have the ability to pass as I passed yesterday before an honors choir that I attended.(!)