So I do pass. Sometimes. But when I don't, I don't know what I'm doing wrong. And my family, I think they lie to me. I don't know if it's my hips or my shoulders, or my forearms. Maybe it's my face, maybe it's my voice or the worst: My height. Now, what can I do to pass more? Which area harmed your passing the most? So it's getting colder and my first male jacket won't work anymore. I have to wear the old ones. What's also necessary: Binders, male shoes and male trousers. I don't have a lot of money so what should I aim for first? I would say trousers for the jacket I can layer and therefore cope with the cold. And what about workout? I've lately done much for my legs as I think they give me away with all that fat. Should I rather do chest or shoulders/arms?
I wouldn't focus your exercise on your legs so much because you can't spot reduce fat. Focus on tour arms and shoulders to broaden and do cardio to burn fat all over. Binding is important and you can get a binder for around $30 usd. I just mentioned this in another post as well, but I have been passing more at least from a distance by simply standing up straight and carrying myself with confidence and not talking or smiling too much. And I got cheap shoe lifts on amazon which add between 1.25 inches and 2.5 inches to my height. Fortunately as it gets colder, you can dress more in layers so your body isn't going to give you away (as long as you wear men's clothes) as much as your body language. Watch other dudes to see how they walk, stand and gesture.
Thank you for your reply! I think I should start using a split rather than a whole body workout so every area can be trained intensely. I noticed gains in my legs and they don't look so fatty anymore. The problem is: I am underweight. And I can't gain muscle without gaining fat so I have to ignore cardio. Shoe lifts would be great! Is it very hard to walk in them without causing your hips to sway? I hope it gets colder soon as I already have some hoodies for men. But the jacket is a pain in the ass really. I was already told I walk like a dude. My gesture is like that of a politcian due to years of rhetorical training so I suppose this is not a big problem. But how many binders do you need? Also I am afraid that once I wear a binder I will go through intense dysphoria when I'm not. This happened when I was wearing a shirt for females after I switched to shirts for men. I really like the design but I took it off, because I felt so disconnected and shitty.
I manage with just one binder, washing it when I can which is about once a week, twice if I hbe a day off mid-week. If you experience bad chest dysphoria now it's worth getting one jut to ease dysphoria when you're out and around people. Dysphoria may intensify when you're not wearing one but in my opinion it's worth it. I'd say some of the most important things to help pass are body language, mannerisms, speech and language and hair. Be more confident, longer strides when you walk, speak less and slower with a more levelled tone. As for hair, square off any sideburns you have, shave the baby hair at the front of your hairline and use product to settle some of the 'wispy' hair that manages to get away. Also shaving your face can be a godsend, getting rid of the peach fuzz, especially if you have dark hair, can help a lot. Hobestly though man, sometimes you just won't pass and it sucks bloody ass but you can't let it get to you too much. Just remember all the people you do pass with and look forward to a future where there won't be any misgendering at all.
It depends what you're aiming for and what your initial conditions are, so to say. ...Or just wear shoes with thick soles, when it comes to height... You know, combat boots, trekking boots, riding boots, trainers...
Good question about the inserts! With the 3 cm lifts, it is not a problem and I can fit them in any pair of shoes. If you try to go much higher than that though it will start to feel like you are wearing high heels which could could dysphoria itself and indeed it does make walking in a natural looking way difficult. You only really NEED one binder. Just make sure you can get it washed at least once or twice a week especially when it is hot outside. I have four binders now all in different colors in styles so they work better depending on what I'm wearing over them. But I don't have a washer in dryer in my house, so it would be hard to wash them often. Though in reality, you could easily hand wash them, especially since you shouldn't dry them in the dryer. That brings up another issue with only having one because it may not dry fast enough for you to wear it again the day after you wash it. And indeed, once you know how it feels to be flat, you will probably not want to go back. I haven't left the house without a binder since the day I started binding and I can't imagine doing it. I feel you on the weight problem. I am 5'7 (170 cm) and 120 lb (54 kg) right now and this is actually high for me. The most I've ever weighed was 128 lb (58 kg) and that was with me working my ass off at the gym and eating everything in sight (my goal was 2500 calories a day). At my lowest about five years ago I was 102 lb (46 kg). Weight has always been a problem for me and a big source of dysphoria. I hate appearing "fragile", so I have always done weights and avoided cardio. You really should do SOME cardio though. I recently started jogging and it is really doing something for my depression. But, I am actually at a healthy weight now and don't really want to gain anymore especially since it seems to want to go to my hips. D:< Anyway, good luck with everything! And I strongly suggest the shoe lifts! Mine were like $15 usd and I love them!
@emerry I think it could be my hips. How do I make them slimmer? My waist is not so slim anymore, it looks fine actually. @Aberrance: Always gotta do that myself, my hairstylist is crazy. I'll have to get another one. I shave my peach fuzz after darkening it with mascara, helps ok the bad days. @Ricky: I have never worn high heels higher than 3cm, so there is nothing to remind me of that feel. And when I look in the mirror I see I taller boy and not real high heels. I think it could work. Interesting...I have done weights on a very young age, I don't remember exactly. But I knew I always wanted to be strong. In my case, all the fat goes to my upper thighs and booty. It's disgusting really. All that body fat, it just shouldn't be there.
Straight leg trousers, and stand&walk&etc with legs separately. And find trousers that fit properly. Some skinny jeans also do the job, but you have to be more careful so that they don't hug too closely on the butt and at the very bottom of legs. P.S. fun fact Did you know that high heels were a men's garment first? I believe they were invented for riding. ---------- Post added 7th Oct 2016 at 02:57 AM ---------- ad hips. Or regular fit, that's how it's called.
This. You'll have to go with clever clothing for your hips....work out can't really help you there...
If you still need help on how to cover your hips, winter is the best time for it. I find the easiest way is baggy clothes. Wear a pair of men's pants and a men's shirt that fit, then layer it with a pair of baggy pants and a baggy shirt. I was born with a lot of curves, and this has been working for me for quite sometime. Maybe it will help you as well.
Yeah baggy clothes are good. And they're comfortable. I think there is something with my hips. So much fat though I'm underweight at least it feels like there's incredibly much fat...
Get the right trousers and it will stop bothering you. Just nothing too tight on the butt. I know what I'm talking about. I used to think that my butt is one big piece of fat too. And that my hips are way too big. Until I got the right trousers. Look for them, it's worth it.
