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Think Sokka from avatar

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Clam chowder, Oct 3, 2016.

  1. Clam chowder

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    OK so last Saturday out of spite i shaved the majority of my head.
    Probably not the best move, but my hair was getting long again and it irked me so what i thought was gonna be a little trim for comfort turned into me getting rid of most of the hair on my head. I kinda just left a strip of hair up front that can be tied into a pony tail like well sokka from avatar: the last air bender.
    Naturally i got scolded by my parents with some grandiose speech about how they own my body and i'm not allowed to change anything about myself without their consent and so on but that's an entirely different, and wildly irrelevant, conversation (and they aren't really wrong).
    ANYWAYS I'm personally really happy with this look because with the pony tail on i can pass for a dude easily and with the ponytail off i just look like a punk chick with bangs and shaves sides, the duality pleases me. Being able to express my gender how ever way i see fit at the time, pleases me.
    I accepted all commentary that came on the new haircut pretty well as it was mostly compliments, my friends saw that i was happy with it and were happy with it too (or at the very least kept their negative comments to themselves for my sake).
    Most of the bad came from my family.
    Earlier today my mother looked at me with my ponytail on and scowled then said with very obvious distaste "UGH you look like a boy" and i had to fight everything in me to keep myself from saying "YEAH THAT'S KINDA THE POINT"
    I know she means well but i've found that my mother doesn't support anything I do that reaches beyond the pretty pink box set for girl to exist in, and recently i've been finding it more and more difficult to deal with. I'm just not quite sure how to continually work towards my ideal form of gender expression while also dealing with my parent's heckling in a way that wouldn't give away that my gender isn't one they support.
     
  2. ConnectedToWall

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    Hey that haircut sounds super cool!
    It's messed up that your parents say they own your body though. Your haircut should be your choice. I'm sorry that they're not more supportive.
     
  3. SkyWinter

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    They are responsible for raising you and protecting you as they had you, but they don't own your body.
     
  4. Pel

    Pel
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    Heya, bud. I'm so glad that you're happier with yourself and your (awesome) hair now. Sokka is seriously one of my favorite characters.

    It really is unfair though how much your parents seem to dislike the cut. They should see how happy it made you, and that you cut your hair for a reason. That reason must be important to you, so they should have been more accepting and all that. And they do NOT own your body. You own your body. It is yours and rather than try to push that part of you away, they should try and be more supportive of you trying to be yourself. I'm sure they'll come around though.

    Good luck man! :slight_smile:
     
  5. Clam chowder

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    aaahhhhh i LOVE sokka too, he's such a major dork, and his puns are killer

    It seems that lots of things in life are unfair and let's be honest until i turn 18 or move out, i'm pretty much a living breathing doll for my parents to change as they see fit XD

    ---------- Post added 4th Oct 2016 at 10:38 PM ----------


    Try telling them that

    ---------- Post added 4th Oct 2016 at 10:38 PM ----------

    the haircut makes me FEEL super cool ;w;
    i think it's kinda messed up too tbh.
    like i told some teachers about how my parents reacted to my haircut, and for the most part they all agreed, while on the other side of the spectrum when i told some students they were all appalled by the idea
    As much as i hate that most adults will view me as more property than person, i find the contrast of the reactions really interesting. I mean they make complete sense! As an adult you would understand that children don't know everything and when they act against what they were instructed, it's a sign of disrespect and bad judgement; in which case they need to be put in their place to learn and grow as people so you take whatever means necessary to make sure they don't defy you again. But as a child (or more so a teenager) you think that no adult should ever have any power over you because you are a person capable of making your own choices and that you need not be controlled.
    Both opinions are radically different and both wrong in their own senses, i just kinda wish that we could learn to meet somewhere in the middle. To understand that being young means needing guidance even when it's not wanted, but it doesn't mean we stop being humans with emotions and a need to express ourselves. y'know?
     
  6. Kira

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    Your parents should drink cactus juice, it'll quench them. It's the quenchiest!

    In all seriousness, don't know why so many parents are so controlling with haircuts, I mean such an effect is purely cosmetic and the individual's own decision. Maybe if you lived in Antarctica and you had to do everything to keep warm, otherwise I don't get it.
     
  7. Lounicorn

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    it's better to have sokka's hair than aang's shaved head with arrow tats on it
     
  8. AnAtypicalGuy

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    Dude, I'm on the same boat as you. Just got my hair cut short, now my parents are whining about me looking like a boy. Now they want me to wear a SKIRT for some upcoming interviews, to balance out my "boyish-ness" or something.

    The important thing for you to remember is that your parents do NOT own your body. It is "your" body, after all. Think of this if ever you doubt yourself. By the way, your haircut sounds awesome, not to mention it being genius. I've got to tell my friend about it, they're genderfluid and they'd love it.