At this point I know that while I would be entirely content as a cis-dude, I'd rather not transition fully into male. I know that I'm nonbinary, and one of the ways I like to imagine myself is as a flat-chested, deep-voiced person with an ambiguous amount of body and facial hair and an altogether androgynous to male appearance. But I'm scared of never finding anyone who can love me like that. I know I'm young, probably too young to be talking like this, but let's face it: we live in a binary-centric world and most people, trans or otherwise, look for someone who's clearly male or female. And I'm not, and I'm terrified that I'll die alone if I choose to transition. Please, please give me some sort of reassurance.
Welll... Personally I find androgynous people very attractive. Actually, my dad once told me something. "If a guy can pass for a girl, then that's a good looking guy." My dad is straight btw, and altogether, a bit ignorant about LGBT+. But I think what he said is true. In fact, I think a lot of society likes people looking androgynous. It's why there's the label of "pretty-boys" and why some girls might call guys "cute." One might not be so quick to call a manly man "cute", right? There's something about the look that you're talking about-- androgynous to male appearance, ambiguous amount of hair, flat chest, deep voice-- That most of society finds attractive. Someone who's good looking, but not quite hot or overloaded with testosterone... Androgynous. And hopefully cute. Society likes that. That is, if I'm getting the same image.
I've seen several articles recently saying that more and more (young) people are, well, basically ignoring roles/boxes/labels. An ever growing number of people are saying things like, "well I was with a woman before, but now I'm with a man, and I mean there are so many unique people, who knows!" People aren't making as big a deal about "well I'm gay so I have to date a man with a penis". Aka... We broke the damn binary! PARTAH!! (lbr though, I worry about this sometimes too. I'm not going to transistion more than I have probably, I'm never coming out to my dad, how the hell am I going to find someone? But I'm not going to compromise myself to settle for someone good enough. Just have to keep living my life until I find someone who fits well into it.)
