I'm 11 born male and very confused. I'm getting ready to come out as Pan but i have these feelings. I want to cross-dress, i like feminine clothes and stuff, but also a lot of masculine stuff too (gaming, electro music, and so on...). I have tried dresses and heels and i love this stuff. i tried some regular street clothes. Generic pink love and like that. What am i? I have a history of growing out my hair. I'm worried about facial hair, and its getting to be too much. I have been in denial for too long. Please help me... (&&&) (*hug*) (!)
Just a quick reminder that gender expression and gender identity are not the same thing; masculinity and femininity are not the same as male and female. You can still feel like a boy and be one and dress in a very feminine manner and like to look feminine (such as not having facial hair). What you have to really start to learn and decide is how you see yourself because of it. Do you see yourself as a boy who likes to look pretty? Or do you see yourself as a girl? Do you want to be called by a girls name and use feminine or neutral pronouns? Do you dislike being grouped in with other boys, or do you recognize that you feel good as a boy you just like a lot of really feminine things?
I'm thinking you might be what's called "nonbinary" or "genderfluid." You don't have to think of yourself as a female to like feminine things (yup, even crossdressing), and you can definitely like these AND masculine things at the same time. I've helped teach a small seminar at my college on this, so I hope I can answer in a simple enough way! >< Basically, there are four main areas of how we express ourselves--our gender identity (how you think of yourself in your head), our gender expression (how we dress to display our gender based on what we're taught is "male" and "female"), our biological sex (what you were born with between your legs), and our sexual/romantic orientation (who we're attracted to with our hearts and bodies). These things aren't like a regular light switch--up or down, black or white--they can change from day to day, person to person, and are as unique as a person's fingerprint in their combination! That's why gender and orientation are more like a dimmer switch, with infinite points between two extremes. You might think that most people are statistically heterosexual, cisgender, and express themselves as the way they were taught matches their gender stereotype. But there are still many, many people like you who are somewhere closer to the middle than the end of the sliding scale, and can identify with both or neither gender. I'm sorry if I'm making no sense!! But my school uses the website http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com to teach students and teachers about this stuff! Hopefully you can see if I try to attach a pic of the genderbread person! Don't worry about it so much, you'll find something eventually that describes you perfectly, and you'll be like, "Ahh, yiss! This is me, and I'm AWESOME!" I hope this helps, even a little!
