I have been transitioning for three years and some change, yet I cry just as hard when I have too much time to think about my body. I'm always sad about how I look and I feel self conscious all the time. I actually feel so bad when I leave the house that I try to stay inside as much as possible. People say that I look great and most people gender me properly. That doesn't seem to make me feel any less shitty. I don't know if it's more of a body image issue than it is me being trans anymore. Clearly I am viewed as female by anyone else so maybe it's something internal that I need to work on. Sometimes I think about surgery and it also makes me sad. I'd love to have it done (SRS) but at the end of the day I'd feel like it's just a fake vagina. I was wondering if any one else has experienced this and maybe gotten through it? Maybe I need to speak to more trans people because I don't really speak to anyone in person.
Typically after transitioning the vast majority of dysphoria goes away, because the 'pull' to live bodily as your heart/mind tell you has been largely achieved. After that I would agree that there may be pockets of time in which a person may have a hint of it, or it can be meshed with one's self image and self esteem on the matter. This is also why doing the 'real life test' is so important for anyone claiming or feeling trans, as they now get to actually first hand experience life as they purpose as comfortable. Oftentimes we can get lost in introspection and devoting so much of our mental energy to imagining our feelings, that we forget we need to tactically experience them too. If the dysphoria is still large, as being perceived as dysphoria, it could actually stem or be part of another issue. It ultimately comes down to accepting yourself for who you are, and what it means to be who you are. If that means your outward appearance needs to be shifted, then so be it, but if you still don't feel authentic then that's something to consider. Remember, regardless of anything you are beautiful and most certainly loved, so don't overthink it but don't write your feelings off either. One day at a time =]
