Bathroom talk

I don't honestly care that much about bathrooms for identity purposes. So basically I don't mind walking into a women's bathroom if I look somewhat like a woman. It really only bothers me if I think it will bother other people. Otherwise, I'm just trying to pee.

 

Going into any female-gendered space makes me feel like a creep and a pervert. I'm a dude and that's a private space for women - it just feels wrong on a moral level more than anything else for me. It's the same when I've had to shop for bras in the past, I see all these women picking out their future lingerie and I'm just like "Dude stop looking at her underwear! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" So, in short, it feels like I'm invading the space.

 

I don't really think about it much. I'm just going to do my thing and leave. I do get the "Why do I have to use the men's room" thought every once in a while(I still present male, working on that though.), but I don't really dwell on it.

 

It makes me really uncomfortable because it reminds me that I look like a woman, and that's something I'm very dysphoric about. I try to avoid public bathrooms whenever possible.

 

I didn't use to think it bothered me much until one day, I thought I really didn't want to use the women's restroom anymore. So for context now I usually use the men's or unisex/family, unless I'm with someone I'm not out to.

Since I switched it was kind of a weight off my shoulders, I now don't mind using the women's when needed since I know I could use the other. And after all I used it for most of my life until now. I'm only a bit worried that I could make the women there uncomfortable.

 

Personally, most people are unable to tell I am agender/non-binary (I am AFAB and I pass as a cis woman). I don't really attribute public restrooms to my personal identity I think since I understand that most of society doesn't recognize those who don't identify as one or the other... I use the women's restroom since most people who see me probably assume I am one, though I do feel personally awkward in an all-women space like that. I realize if I were to use the men's though I am much more likely to be attacked / called out so even though I would probably feel no more or less discomfort than using the women's I don't take the risk. I am indifferent and minorly uncomfortable with both choices, really, but it doesn't greatly affect my time in public so I don't take it personally. If bathroom's are gendered but single stall, I'll still use the women's but I'm much more comfortable. Family / neutral ones are ideal I guess. I think the only time any of it strikes me as funny / odd is when I'm out with my boyfriend and we both separate to goto the bathroom (it just seems odd / inconvenient to me since we know each other and wouldn't mind lol)

 

I definitely have the same type of feelings. Being in the women's restroom just feels wrong, like I'm waiting for someone to see me and shriek.

 

It depends for me, the only time I don't feel uncomfortable in a public bathroom is when they are single stall. Even though I present masculine, I feel safer using the women's - but often feel uncomfortable using it because I don't want to cause the women in there to feel uncomfortable or unsafe, as I'm in their space and I'm not female.

 

So I am not alone in that thought. I feel completely uncomfortable on so many levels when in the women's lingerie section. I'm just like, avert eyes and keep moving. My inward sense of gentlemanliness has been flustered.

 

I know how you feel. I honestly have never felt comfortable in the men's clothing section/changing rooms. Always had this feeling like I shouldn't be there, that I don't belong. I've had this feeling 90% of the time I've been shopping. Particularly buying underwear.

 

Personally, I hate using the women's toilets, because I'm a transguy. But I will if I have to (and there isn't a disabled toilet). Usually I'll just use the disabled toilets. I wish I could use the blokes but I'd probably get as much shit for being in there as I do when I'm in the birds. So I use the disabled loos to save feeling out of place/victimised/sticking out like a sore thumb. I'd imagine that when I start passing as a bloke it will be difficult for me to use the men's, but that's purely on a functional basis (I've used an STP device before at home and I end up pissing down my leg).

 

Same, I pass like 20-30% of the time (I think) so I don't go in the men's just for personal safety. I use Disabled/Unisex or single-stall men's bathrooms. I have been in multi-stall men's before twice, there were a couple other guys in there each time and they didn't say anything or even really look at me - no interaction, I just used the stall then got out. Guys I know have said it's cause guys feel weird about looking at other guys for fear of "being gay", so that might have something to do with it. A lot of guys are also "pee-shy" or just don't like to use urinals so they pee in the stall instead. Once you feel comfortable going into the men's, I doubt people will give you shit if you use a stall (and if they do, just ask them why they want to see your dick so badly).

 

I treat it as a random and gender-neutral thing, the only thing that bothers me is the "Are they going to question me?" worry. (I use female bathrooms for obvious reasons)

Man, you get the feeling of being a pervert for looking at lingerie too? I don't feel like invading, it's just that the lingerie, and the naked ladies on ads, and I start to feel sexual, and it feels plain... ugh. I just wanted to buy underwear. I need that garment.

---------- Post added 20th Oct 2016 at 08:01 AM ----------

But I feel even worse about men's underwear. And I clothing shops, that's when I get The Looks and it's just awkward, in both sections. The Looks and questioning bother me.

---------- Post added 20th Oct 2016 at 08:03 AM ----------

Bathrooms are frequently empty when I use them. And I have the luck not to have the need to use them often.

 

I know I don't get looks in the men's section, but it sure feels like I do. Especially buying underwear. It's the same feeling a Cis man might get in the lingerie section...

 

I love the idea of genderneutral bathrooms. I'm gender fluid, so for me it's very difficult deciding what bathroom to go to. Born female, I will usually take that bathroom even though the male's line is often shorter. But I have so many days in which I'm not feeling female or male and I will feel very uncomfortable in either bathroom. Pretty safe to say I'm just almost always feeling uncomfortable in public bathrooms

 

The last time I had to use the ladies' room it was extremely dysphoria-inducing. I really can't stand using the womens', or even gender-neutral restrooms when there are gendered options.

 

Haha good point. I guess when I've got a deep voice, fat redistribution and stubble, the last thing on their minds would be what genitalia I have! And if it is, why do they need to know!

 

I started T 5 years ago and had my chest surgery 3 years ago. I pass as male, and i still get nervous using mens rooms and locker rooms when there are other guys in there.