I came out to my mom last night. She doesn't get it, but her reaction wasn't bad, per say. Until this morning. She's making it all about her and everyone else. She just sent me a text telling me how uncomfortable she is with the idea of me transitioning, how much it would kill her and the rest of the family, and asking me to wait until her, dad, and my grandparents are all dead. Ugh, I should have kept it to myself....
I'm very sorry for this. It isn't fair to have said that you, especially after you trusted her with the information. Is it possible that educating her on the topic would help? If you explain to her that this is more than simply "I fancy living as a woman" and that you ARE a woman, do you think it would help her understand and be less antagonistic about it? Something I told my dad was that if I carry on as a girl, he will never get to know the real me - he'd always know a fake and broken person. No decent parent wants that for their child.
I'm so sorry to hear that I couldn't imagine what it would be like to hear those I love tell me they'd rather be dead before seeing me become myself... Perhaps like what SystemGlitch said though, perhaps you could lightly continue explaining how you never felt like you were a boy in the first place? How you've always been a woman it's just how everyone else sees you and how she sees your body that doesn't match up. It might be a slow process, and it sounds like they might be stubborn to turn, but just try and really get it to sink in that no matter what you look like, it was never a choice to you and it's your feelings that really matter in this.
SystemGlitch and Kipper, that's basically my plan. We talked a bit more(via text) and she did admit that she might be able to come around one day. So she's not totally a loss. I want her to know that it's either gain a daughter, or lose a son. I'm prepared to exit their life, if need be, as much as that would hurt. One thing is clear though, I think I need to get out of this house. I need to start this ASAP for my own good....
