Hey guys, Chase here. My question is rather simple, but I feel like there might be some disagreements in this thread: Would you date someone who sees/likes you for your sex? It's not often, but sometimes I am mistaken as female and cis guys and gals end up flirting with me, thinking I'm a girl. Usually I flirt along if they're attractive and it's not that serious yet, but as a personal preference I would NEVER commit to a serious relationship in which they think that, or even go on a date with that person. I've done it before, and the attraction usually dies super fast if I'm referred to as a girl constantly. There is no in between for me really, but I know a lot of trans people who do end up in relationships with people who perceive them to be their sex, not their gender, and while I know "Love can overcome.", I honestly would never be able to do it. Those are just my thoughts, but let me know what you guys think!
If you like for me to be honest...then I will say NO..because if someone is considering going on a date with you because they sees you as being a female and once that is revealed then it could become a very bad situation for you. I had a friend who was going through transitioning years ago and she looked so much like a female that a lot of guys would come on to her and ask her out on dates and so forth. There was this one guy whom she started dating. The thing is he was not aware that she was transitioning and was under the assumption that she was a female. Yet...she kept the charade going until someone she knew her told a close friend of this guy about her and he confronted her about it. Therefore, she had no choice but to reveal her truth. Needless to say...he had gotten very upset and even violent towards her which resulted in her being in the hospital. After going through that...she met another guy a year later and although she told him the truth...he did continue to see her but it was on the DL where he did not want to be seen with in her public and yet..she continued with this arrangement for quite some time. So...with that being said..I have to say to you that getting yourself in a situation that could become physical or really bad would be my concern. Nonetheless...you know your situation better than myself ...I'm just giving my two cents to give you something to think about before you make a final decision. JS
I personally don't think I would date someone who liked me for my sex, or even my gender (or more lack thereof). However, I can't be sure as I've never been in that situation.
Seeing as I've been on hormones for over two years, I don't think it's possible to think I'm a cis female anymore. However, if it DID happen, I would not date such a person. Heck, if they could not gender me correctly, I wouldn't even consider being friends with them. I really don't understand how some people do it, to be honest. You're getting it backwards here, mate. He's talking about if someone mistook you for your ASSIGNED sex, so, for example, if a straight guy tried to date a trans guy (most likely pre-T) he perceived as female.
My ex told me over and over that he would be fine continuing to date me as long as I didn't have surgury. Present as male, introduce myself as male, be referred to as his boyfriend, mayyybe even go on T (he flipflopped on that), as long as he was still having sex with a 'female' body. And I broke up with him. So no, I wouldn't. It just feels bad when someone's thinking of you in those terms, like it feels invalidating, to me. I don't get dysphoria often, but those conversations really got to me.
Considering the fact I'm "passing" as cis dude I doubt anyone would perceive me as a woman right now. I would also refuse to date someone who would misgender me or refuse to introduce me as their boyfriend or whatever.
Well, it depends what you're opting for, I guess. I can't damand anything else. There are definitely gender-related things for me that are a no-go, but it's not being viewed as a female. I decided that I won't do anything to my body, and hold no reservations to it, if I decided to live this lifetime as a woman, the implication is obvious and I should take it. If I didn't take it, it would be unfair towards others. Of course, attraction works like it works, and there is no way to ensure that this given person isn't attracted to my female features. Also, because attraction works how it works, e.g. straight people are not attracted to everyone of their preferred sex, everyone's got their own tastes. So that someone is attracted to my feminine features, doesn't mean they are not attracted to me as a person, to ---me---. A no-go for me is pressureing me into being submissive and ladylike. I don't mind being submissive, but whoever will not tolerate or is disgusted with me expressing affection or sexuality, my way of being, my hobbies, lifestyle preferences, occupation, walk, talk, attitude, decisions, and the similar, has a free way to not talk to me again.
Nope. I could date someone who was initially attracted to me as a girl but has come to see me as a guy (and is still attracted to me), but I couldn't date someone who thought of me as a girl. Their interest in me would be based on something that's fundamentally untrue (the idea that I'm a girl), and that's not a stable base for a relationship. Plus it would make me dysphoric.
I don't intially tell people that i'm trans so first impressions they view me and are talking to me as though I have the body of a cis guy. If they're then cool with the fact that i'm biologically female then great but I wouldn't keep talking to someone that only wanted me for my body. Completely stuff that.
