I'm going to keep this short. I haven't been online for the past few months because a lot has happened. I've been diagnosed with major depression after self-harming for about a month and am generally feeling pretty crap (that's a massive understatement but I won't go into details because that's not what this post is about). One thing I've found out through all this is that there's a condition called poly-cystic ovary syndrome (pcos) that runs in the family and can sometimes cause an overproduction of testosterone and other typically masculine hormones. After doing more research, I figured that I have a lot of symptoms for pcos and overproduction of testosterone. I think that this is a more likely explanation for my gender dysphoria (which has been replaced with more general hatred and fear of my own body and skin) because it makes more sense and the dysphoria only cropped up very recently in my life and the more I think about it, the less I want to live as a man nowadays. So...yeah. I don't think I'm necessarily trans. I could be wrong about being wrong, and maybe I will indeed find that I'd be more comfortable as a man in the future, but I'm gonna try and get used to and stick to female pronouns for now. I'll try and go online a bit more in the future and maybe ask for advice about my personal bullshit as always. Until then, adieu. :icon_bigg
Have you been to the doctor to check for POCS? Because, if your hormones go into the blue, it can leave you depressed, among other symptoms. Therefore, it's important you get it treated if you have it, for your mental health as well. Anyways, I'm sorry to hear you feel so crap. I hope the treatment helps. And all the best.