Hi all, AMAB here. I want to be able to tell two close people in my life that I've felt genderfluid. All signs point to them being accepting: as they are two kind hearted people I've grown up with who are very liberal. I suppose they would be willing to accept me. However....I'm deeply ashamed of this. Deeply ashamed of something I don't even fully understand. Perhaps my personal state is so difficult to diagnose because of fluctuations in thought. I like to think I am fully male. But as much as I hate to admit it.... I feel like there were moments in my life where I really really wished I was a girl. My photographs of me crossdressing and my memories of my fantasies is probably enough proof of that. Of course, again, because I have male pride, any potentially feminine aspect of myself has brought great shame. Anyway, how would I come out? To friends/family members I almost fully trust?
Maybe something like a friend came out to me. We were talking with other friends too and my friend asked me what gender I was. Well that tipped me off, you don't ask if you are an average cicgender person. I returned the question and he answered "Mostly male but, I've got a really feminine side too, so queer." A couple of people raised their eyebrows, they didn't know my friend was genderqueer but, that was it. We went on talking, joking and laughing, no big deal. That was the beginning of a beautiful friendship, one where were love each other as friends in a very LGBTQ way.
Thanks for your input. I very much appreciate, though I will say that I dunno if that's how I wish to go about it...hahaha. I've already kind of hinted about my bodily issues, but framed it more as frustrations with my sex drive. So I don't know if its really clicked for them yet... Hmm...trying to think of ways to go about it.
I want to tell people because I haven't really told anyone. Shame of having felt this way. Because, it's weird to have so many brain trajectories. When my male self is dominant (which becomes more dominant due to societal influence), that male self doesn't want to feel feminine.
Just come straight out and tell them. You want to tell your friends, right? Well do it. Just tell them and say something like "do you know what being genderfluid is?" Let them answer, and mention that you've felt that way before. Mention that you've been doubting it, and that you think you just might be it. Mention that you're questioning. If you wish, tell them how ashamed you feel. If you truly trust them, then they're probably good friends and will help you to find out your identity! That's what I did with my friends, and I'm sure they'll accept you and help you. Good luck!
Hey Snidi, I'm a big advocate of not Coming Out to anyone until you first understand and accept yourself for who you are. You seem to still be in some internal conflict and if you Come Out to anyone who challenges your statement of being genderfluid, will that only add to your internal conflict? And, do you think you are really genderfluid only because you like to cross-dress? I'm far from very knowledgeable about transvestism, but I don't know that transvestites necessarily are genderfluid. It might be something worth exploring for you. Just some thoughts.
