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gender confusion 2: electric boogaloo

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by BanditWings, Nov 2, 2016.

  1. BanditWings

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Illinois
    So.
    Recently I've come to terms with the fact that I'm female despite being AMAB. (ugh i hate even being amab i wish i were just born a girl but that's not the point)
    Then I started getting confused again, because it started mixing up.
    3 scenarios start happening, seemingly at random:
    1) "Yeah, I'm 100% a girl! Can't believe I doubted it! I need to transition RIGHT NOW"
    2) "What am I thinking?! I'm a BOY, and this is all just a really dumb phase."
    3) "I have no idea. I'm not comfortable with being a boy AT ALL, but I'm also really not convinced that I'm a girl. I'm in the middle."
    And so there was much confusion, until I discovered that maybe I'm just gender-fluid! But unfortunately...
    1) "Gender fluid?! No way! I'm 100% a girl and just too nervous to come to terms with it!"
    2) "No way! I'm a boy, and I'm trying to hide behind crazier and crazier labels to feel special!"
    3) "Yeah that sounds like the right idea, but maybe I'm just agender or something I don't know I need more vanilla ice cream."
    Any advice? I'm not sure if I'm genderfluid and can't come to terms with it or really just can't make up my mind. Which one's right?
     
  2. SkyWinter

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    GA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    It could be none of those things are "right" except the vanilla ice cream. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    I would say don't beat yourself up about this issue. You are you. I've had many of the same thoughts. "I don't feel entirely male, but my body is" Or "Maybe I should transition?" followed by "Nah, that is silly. Don't do that."

    What you label yourself at this point isn't as important as giving yourself room to breathe and just listen to yourself.
     
  3. EverDeer

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Ohio
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    You could be bigender. I've heard some experiences from bigender people who have a distinct "boy mode" and "girl mode" rather than a gradual shift between the two, but truly finding out who you are entirely is up to you. For now though, I think the most important step is just to not suppress anything you're feeling when it comes up, let it happen and ride it out and accept how it feels at the time, even if you somehow know it might change later. Maybe you can start to look for changes in your thought patterns, or if certain things trigger you to sort of shift thought processes between how you're feeling, thats what I did and once I learned how certain things made me feel I had a lot less anxiety and confusion as well. No way is right and being genderfluid isn't just a crazy label, nor is any other nonbinary identity :slight_smile: it's real because the feelings are real, you don't necessarily need a label for yourself until you figure stuff out but just know that what you're going through is normal.
     
  4. DAFriend

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Arkansas
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    maybe none or all of the above, just genderqueer nondescript. Nothing really fits but, you have a gender, just not either of the conventional two.

    Yeah hard to get your head around, but not so bad once you do, you're just you and gender simply doesn't matter. You are versatile, can be either or none, whatever the mood and/or situation calls for.