AMAB. Has had 'genderfluid' tendencies, though I don't want to use the label. A part of me has wondered: 'well, what if I DID change my gender to female? Wouldn't that be so much fun?' I suppose a part of me would enjoy to be a woman on the outside, even if only for a week. But alas...I really think that in the end, it would be more trouble than it's worth. To have to change a huge portion of my identity: the person I built myself to be. The man I built myself to be.... My name, everything. To have to spend all that money, come out to family and friends...live as someone else, with different roles and expectations: I don't want that. To have to be catcalled in the street, to have to focus more on beauty, to have to take on society's female roles...I don't want that. So I'm going to have to love being a man. It would seem I only have two choices: a biological man or a transgender woman. Of the two... I need to be happy as a biological man. Because there's no way I can ever be a biological woman from birth.
I completely understand what you're saying. The issue I have? Being a "man" causes me a great deal of issues in my life. Living as a woman is so much more stress free & positive for me. I guess it's all about finding a happy medium.
I understand where you're coming from. I suppose if you're really deep into the female brain, then that's the way it has to be. The thing for me is that being a man has felt uncomfortable at times, while feeling like a woman has been uncomfortable as well, but for different reasons... So I just wish I can feel more like a man at this point, if I have to choose.
