Crushing hard and very conflicted about it.

So, a close friend of mine is suddenly spending more time hanging around me in class and I am crushing over her super hard. I always liked her, but just as a friend. Now I'm really conflicted about this. We're really good friends, we've had some of the same problems in life and we're somewhat close. Although I never see any of my friends outside of school (it's weird, but it's a thing). I really like her, we make each other laugh and stuff, but I feel super awkward about it. I feel like if I started nosing in too far I'd ruin our friendship. I also feel if I just blatantly ask her out that could end badly too. She said that she broke up with her boyfriend last year, but I don't know if she is dating someone else by now. Her ex-boyfriend is also a friend of mine and they've been friends for a long time. So, I'd feel awkward trying to date her and be around him. It feels wrong. Also, what if she doesn't like me that way or what if she's dating someone? I feel like if I wait I'll lose her, but I feel I'll lose her if I try to make a move. I really like her, I've never felt like this about anyone before. But I've also never dated before or even had someone with a mutual interest. I don't know if she even likes me the same, or would be willing to give me a try. I feel like I really get her and I could really make her happy and she could make me happy. I understand her and feel for her, and if she really knew me she'd get me. We both have bad anxiety, we're both kinda awkward, and we both make each other laugh. But then, there's the additional concern of her getting to know my soft mushy side and not liking it. And what would she think of me being trans? What if she completely walked out of my life over that? I've never had a relationship with someone and I don't know if I could handle that kind of rejection. But then again, I have this feeling in my heart and I have butterflies in my stomach. I feel excited when she walks over and sits next to me. I really like her, and I really want to fall in love with her, but I don't know if it will work. I also don't want to lose one of my best friends. Her other friends are also not very fond of me. I feel scared, nervous, and excited at the same time. She's a beautiful person to me, and I personally find her attractive. I have a car, so maybe some day I'll give her a ride home and try to ask her out or something. But I don't know. Ooh, my chest is tight and I really like this girl. I feel like crying because I don't think it can ever happen, I feel she's too far out of my league and she's too beautiful (even though she says she's ugly) for me. I feel unworthy, yet I want her so bad. If there was ever a person I'd want to go out of my way for with romance and please, it's her. I really like her, but I'm conflicted and I don't know what to do. Plz help. :icon_redf :help:

 

Welp...apparently the feeling in my gut was foreshadowing tonight. Harsh abdominal pain and chest tightness. So many things happening lately. I got my health, college, family, and now feeling attracted to one of my best friends. Why? :/

 

Does anyone have any advice? I'm crushing over one of my best friends, I'm sick so I couldn't see her today, and I feel all over the place. I need help with this.