I was born female, but I don't feel like I am female, ya know? I get along better with guys and i feel more masculine than feminine, but at the same time, I don't feel like either? i don't really mind pronouns. I don't care whether I'm called he, she, or they. I like having a feminine face and wearing masculine clothing but I don't feel like a girl or a guy? please help
Hi and welcome! I guess to start, just know that its normal to be confused and everyone here would love to help you learn more about yourself so that you can be comfortable with who you are and who you might become For starters, just remember that gender presentation, your personality traits, and your identity are all 3 separate things. No matter how you like to dress, how masculine or feminine you are, what your interests are or how you act, none of those things are really indicative of your identity, because that's how you see yourself and how you want others to recognize you. Because you get along better with guys, do think it would appeal to you more to be seen as 'one of them'? Do you feel any social disconnect from other women, or is there anything about your body that leaves you confused or like you don't understand why people make assumptions about it/you? Personally, just from what you've written, I feel like I can relate in quite a few ways. I mostly identify as "agender" which to me means I just don't really feel like I fit in with men or women, I like presenting androgynously so that I am seen as neither in a sense, and I would prefer to not be gendered at all, though because that's sort of a high request considering most of the world uses gendered language, I like referring to myself with both feminine and masculine language to kind of "neutralize" myself hahah (for example, I usually use she/her pronouns, but will often refer to myself as a boy). Do any type of pronouns or gendered words give you more of a positive feeling than others, or do they all make you feel pretty indifferent? Or does it change depending on the day? Or does how you view your body change depending on what you might be wearing for example?
thank you for replying! you're very kind as for your questions, I think I'd like to be seen as 'one of the guys'. i don't know about feeling disconnected from women, but they don't usually talk to me and I don't usually talk to them. I don't think I have any confusion about my body. I'm mostly indifferent towards pronouns and how I view myself doesn't really change.
Honestly, it depends on why you feel this way. Gender identity isn't based on how masculine or feminine you feel. Plenty of women are masculine and seen themselves as one of the guys. Some women have a blend of feminine and masculine traits. And some non-binary/agender people are 100% feminine, only wear dresses and make-up and basically "appear" like cis women in stereotypes....except they aren't actually cis women because they have social dysphoria, hate female pronouns, and some dislike their natal body.
Being masculine doesn't mean you can't be female. I know a lot of cis people who don't really "feel" their gender, or are indifferent to pronouns. It's especially common in people who don't fit gender roles and stereotypes, who will find that they don't really see themselves as having much in common with other men/women because they don't look like stereotypical men/women or want to hang out with other men/women. I don't want to discourage you from questioning your gender, but keep that in mind as an alternative view.
