I went to a trans meetup this weekend, and among the many things I felt going there, one thing I noticed was that I was really uncomfortable using my name, which is so obviously feminine. It made me feel some need to find/use a moregender neutral name. I felt kind of drawn to the name Sam.... I like it for a lot of reasons, and I would like to sit if try using it. But I'm not ready to do it just yet in real life. Can I try using it here? I don't know how to go about it but I'd like to start trying it out. Can anyone share any stories about how you started trying out using a new name? ---------- Post added 21st Nov 2016 at 01:37 AM ---------- *sort of try
Hi Sam! Most people just put their chosen name in their signature or in their gender section. After that people just use it automatically to refer to you since it's much easier than typing out a username.
Hey Sam. I'm not sure if this is a good idea for me to do this to be honest. I have a bad habit of giving people nicknames. One moment your Sam and the next you're Sammikins, Sam-jam, Samareeno. I'm so so sorry. I will try to refrain.
Heya Sam! It's a good name, one I tried since it related somewhat to part of my dead middle name. Lots of people try out names on here, so if you wanna test it and get used to it this is definitely a good place to do so. When I wanted to try out names, I used it on deviantart/asked Internet friends to call me it for a while and saw how I felt. I went through eight different names in total. All of them I eventually got tired with (or could no longer use because my sister married, and her new husband/her two step-kids ALL HAD ONE OF MY POSSIBLE NAMES... the freaking luck, man). Then we got to Hunter. I left it to last because I thought it might be too bizarre, but it was what my parents wanted to call me if I was assigned male at birth. It felt really correct to use, and I got more comfortable with it than I had with any other name. And then when I went to uni I introduced myself to people as Hunter, the first people in real life to use it... the rest is history, it's my legal name now. Good luck with finding your name, it's an important part of your identity so take your time and work out what's comfortable. I realised names over two syllables didn't feel good for me, I prefer short snappy names like Jack or Zach, or two short syllables like Ethan and Lucas - and I don't like names that can be "shortened" further, like Christopher. And finally, experiment and have fun!
absolutely you can Sam. and if you feel like another is more suitable down the road you can use that too. this is your journey, and your identity.
That's my name too. I'm a cis woman, and also know cis men with the name. If you're a non-binary person looking for a name that won't automatically gender you, this is actually a good choice.
Sam is a great name! Put it in your bio, and people will start using it (occasionally). The main way I tried out names was to use them in online games or chats. I would go on random chatrooms with different names and introduce myself just to see how it felt. I also tried out names by talking about myself a lot in the third person and seeing which names felt like they could be mine.
I might call you Sam, but I think "Barista" or "Jedi" are better. I tried out another name, but then I only went through two before I settled on Brooke. I've seen a couple people here go through a number before settling. You'll figure it out Sam!
Hey Sam! For me, I started online and then tried with some friends to see how it sounded. One day came around where I popped by a friend's place for our movie night and everyone started calling me AJ before I told them to switch over to it, and it was so refreshing.
Sam is a great name. I chose just "Alex" originally a long time ago because I wasn't aware that transgender existed and I didn't like my original name being it was a male-only name and Alex was my favorite unisex name. But, after I learned more about myself, I decided to use Alexa. I had one name before that, and that was it.
Name twins! I went through quite a few names before eventually going back to Sam - it's the shortened version of my birth name and I've always adamantly hated my birth name, so I've been Sam my whole life. Why change what you love, you know. *Theo, the second name in my signature, is the shortened version of my second middle name - Samuel Anthony Theodore H. It was a name I was thinking of as my first name before going back to Sam, but it has very special meaning for me and some of my friends call me Theo, so I couldn't get rid of it.
Thanks everyone for your encouragement and suggestions. It took me some time to respond because this thread and all of your responses brought a lot of emotions to the surface. Some of those feelings were a mixture of panic, relief, a feeling of comfort in hearing myself addressed like a guy but fear at the same time. I'm stulll trying to work through my understanding of my gender and it's been really confusing for me as you can see from that wide range of feelings Yesterday just on the way home from work, I said to myself for the first time, "I've always been a guy". And that feeling was calming. But I feel this other part of my identity, all of my feelings from my life, the experiences I've had as a woman, which I feel some strong tie to. Those feelings are all centre's around having my daughter and being her mom. I'm just not sure right now how I feel and what've all of these feelings mean. ---------- Post added 23rd Nov 2016 at 10:33 AM ---------- I should clarify - it's not all my experiences as a woman I feel tied to, it's the experiences I have as a mom.
I really do get this. I've loved being my son's dad, while taking the mom role too, and he will still probably call me dad when I transition and I chose my middle name to reflect my birth name because I don't want to lose those experiences that I've had as ______ because they led me here, and he's been through a lot to protect both my male and female parts, mentally. you can have both of these aspects in your life, I truly believe that.(*hug*)
Yeah, I get it too. I'm way too young to be a parent, but already so many of my important experiences centre around being a girl, like friendships that meant so much to me, being a daughter, hobbies, certain outlooks on things... I wouldn't have had those things otherwise, and I value them. There is a certain sense of mourning to it all... I don't know... I've worn pretty unisex clothes for years, but only when it came to my mind that I could be trans, I was relieved of the discomfort with wearing feminine clothes enough to actually wear them, and at the same time they became strangely appealing like never before, I think just because I knew I was losing them...
Sam, your post reminds me of something. I WANT to be a mom. I'll never give birth, obviously(that causes me a lot of pain, cause I really want to), but I can adopt. I never wanted kids until I started figuring out my gender.
there's something really special about my identity as a mom. What's your son's age, if you don't mind me asking? I need to figure out how to incorporate all these facet sections of who I am into me. ---------- Post added 24th Nov 2016 at 03:21 AM ---------- I know what you mean. There's also an aspect of female identity for me as well, shared sense of identity, certain outlook on things, I find it hard to let that go. A mourning process sounds right, but I don't know if I'm quite there yet. I'm still working on fully understanding if that female aspect is truly part of me or whether it's something I just feel it's hard to let go. ---------- Post added 24th Nov 2016 at 03:23 AM ---------- Aw cluster, I'm so happy for you, it sounds like you aren't really coming into your own. I believe you will be a mom someday it's like you said, adoption is definitely an option.
He's 18, just started University.:icon_bigg my biggest supporter and cheerleader. and yes the best job I've ever had, and I've had lots was/is being his dad, and when it was needed both mom and dad these last few years.
Aw thanks barista Sam, I will, and it'll be great. I've always had a feeling I'd be a better mom than dad. Now I know why!
Hmm, well, the shortened version of my name is unisex, so I started using that, instead! Actually, there are two ways to spell it, and one is masculine, but that's not the one that's always "spoke" to me. I had friends in a group who asked about any preferred pronouns and such, so I told them that. It's really the only place I don't have to pretend to be somebody/thing else, aside from online!