First gender clinic appointment under my belt. Therapy session booked to complement the gender clinic stuff. Blood work requested my NHS GP. Name change at two of my banks. I also got new photos and the form needed to change my license. I've also got talking to a lass that digs me. She sees me as a man and finds me attractive in that. Why don't I feel whole? I feel uneasy and half a man. I've been unable to lift weights the last two days as I tweaked an old injury so maybe that has some bearing on how I'm feeling. The girl calls me a cheeky boy and refers to me as a guy she met online but I don't feel like I am yet. I feel like people may see me as delusional, a butch gay woman that's got a bit confused. But I know that if I could, I'd be reborn a man. To be without all this anxiety and challenge that I have to face. I wish I could fast forward through the last 2 or 3 months, because I'm doing my head in. I don't feel like I'm getting any bigger, but I literally don't stop eating or working out. My voice is deeper for some reason but not deep enough. I shave my face to stop me feeling so far away from the end goal but it makes me feel inadequate. Does anyone know what I mean? This isn't just a 'looking in the mirror and not seeing a man yet' thing. It's deeper than that. ---------- Post added 22nd Nov 2016 at 08:17 AM ---------- *next
