Recently I've realized that I'm not the cis male I thought I was. I don't know why I never realized this as I used to always pretend I was a girl when I was younger wishing I had long hair like the girls and would even sometimes wear my towel out of the shower like a dress. That being said, as I've aged, I've definitely become more comfortable with male roles. I've developed as a leader, really appreciate my male body, and actually "feel male" a lot of the time. On the contrary, there are other times where the female side takes over. In social interactions, I feel on the inside like a girl that is talking while obviously my outside is a guy with a beard. My sexual orientation I've also noticed isn't just gay. I do find myself only sexually aroused by men, however, also have had many strong crushes to women. In those crushes towards women, I always see myself as a man, and in those towards men I can kind of see myself as either. Lastly, I do become envious of straight cis women a lot, but I'm not sure if that's fully because of their gender expression. A lot of it also might be to the fact that at my college they are always so pretty and get so many guys. I don't know, I just need help. If I really need to transition later I would have to save up a lot because I know of how expensive it is. However, if I am genderfluid, I think I can make it work as long as I find an accepting partner. Anyone have a similar gender experience that can help?
You're probably not MTF if you feel male a lot of the time and are happy with your male body. I would guess you are some kind of nonbinary.
I am pretty much in the same situation as you, except I'm not really attracted to women. For the time being I just identify as non-binary/questioning, not because i want to but because i still can't find an answer.
I feel that honestly. I definitely would enjoy living as a woman, but I think only really for certain things like the ability to express femininity all the time. When I really think about it, I could do that in my male body as well and be happy like 75% of the time. I think there only is really about 25% of the day that I actually "feel" myself being a woman rather than somewhere in the middle. Also, today, I noticed myself feeling a bit more male so I think Genderfluid or Genderqueer really are the best words for me. Do you also relate with that? I never really hear of other AMAB's going through this type of thing. It seems with us you're either a camp gay man or a trans woman haha.
Yeah sometimes I wish people felt attracted to me for everything I am including femininity, not despite it, and that sometimes makes me wish i was a woman; i could be as feminine as i wanted and it would be 0 weird. same with the body. I "like" my male body but I wish i could rock a night gown and look fancy and sexy with curves and long hair.
YES! That is 100% how I feel. I also feel a distinct masculine feeling too, but am confused if that is a "male side" or just varying degrees of what my body wants to express. I stick with genderfluid since it seems the most fitting for these feelings but what you described definitely fits when it comes to the feminine feelings.
What do you mean by "varying degrees of what my body wants to express"? For me I sometimes get confused about my male side because I wonder if i'm just confusing the type of guy I'd like to date to thinking that's what I'd like to be. Also the a lot of the male things that make up my "male side", a lot of women like them too, so that makes me wonder if there really is a male side. There probably is, but I question myself a lot.
How about crossdressing? Because people who crosdresd basically express those same feelings. Not to mention, being a crosdresser is perfectly fine and you can find wide support online, as well as relationship advice. No need to slap labels onto what is basically a well known behaviour, and one can be very happy if they find an accepting partner and better yet, friends to surround you.
