It is getting to the point where I can't deal with this anymore. I am grieving. I cannot be transgender, not if I ever want to be happy. I am losing my family. I have lost my friends. By the time I can live as myself I will be so damaged that I don't know if I can connect with another person again. I'm restless, I make jokes constantly, I keep busy, I lie. Because I cannot face this pain anymore. I am so sad and so alone, but no one sees me. I have tried. Therapy, lifestyle changes, socializing, sports, distractions, art, church.Does not work. People say there is someone for everyone, but there is no one for me. And I'm coming so close to just giving the fuck up.
