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When did you start to realize you were bigender?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by StormyVale, Nov 30, 2016.

  1. StormyVale

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    Hi everyone,

    I was wondering when each of you first realized that you might not be the gender you were assigned at birth? I just starting realizing this about a month ago when I started having dysphoria related to switching to the opposite gender. Still trying to figure it all out but am pretty sure I may be bigender.
     
  2. KitSylph

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    It's hard for me to answer this, because I came to different levels of understanding at different times. When I was 7, I first started noticing a desire to be female some of the time. When I was in my mid thirties, I first started expressing myself online as a female, and within a year or two finally got it that I was bisexual or pansexual. I only l learned and latched onto the term bigender a few weeks ago, and began expressing myself as a female in day to day life part of the time a couple of weeks ago.
     
  3. NotSureAboutMch

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    I don't know what to classify myself as. Two weeks ago, when I realized I had questions about gender, not just sexual orientation, I was ready to be out in the world in high heels and skirts, like immediately.
    Then I calmed down and started to notice that my feelings of gender vary depending on what I'm doing. I write music. When I'm at the keyboard I feel very much an emotional man. When I fantasize about sex, I'm much more comfortable thinking of myself as a woman. That's just two examples. I'm all over the place right now, which is to be expected, I think.
    I know that it's going to take time to figure this out. Don't know where I'll land. But I'm just going to go with it and try not to label myself too much.
     
  4. EverDeer

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    After I graduated highschool and was around less people and didn't have to disconnect all the time just to feel stable. I came to the conclusion because, since I was 13 I thought "oh, all young girls must feel wrong like this since it's just stress and hormones, I'll grow out of it." Once I graudated, I suddenly saw everyone else around me feeling differently than me... I felt they had become content and gotten over those bad feelings and learned how to "fit in"... and I never had. I took the time after that to realize why I had become disconnected, realized why I felt different all of my life and just lived thinking it would eventually go away once all the other stressors in my life were gone. But it didnt; but I am much happier now and at peace with myself.
     
  5. KitSylph

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    I was thinking about it today, and I realized that part of the reason I hadn't gone further in figuring out who I was sooner was that I was a single parent, and I felt as though it would be harmful and very difficult to explore my identity and not let my child know, and that it would be extremely confusing and problematic for my child if I did share what I was going through. That makes me feel a little less bad about taking so long to figure myself out.
     
  6. StormyVale

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    Taking a long time to figure it out is not a bad thing, it just means you now truly know yourself. It took me a good amount of time to figure out my gender too. Personally I feel like I wasn't in-tune with myself when I was younger to really know or accept this. It took me awhile to figure out and accept that I was bisexual, so gender identity issues obviously were going to take a bit longer to realize. I think it is also because no one talks about gender identity so if you don't feel like your gender assigned at birth, you really don't have resources besides the internet