I belong to a choir which is very LGBT friendly. Most of the singers are somewhere on the LGB spectrum; I’m the only one who isn’t cis as far as I know. I’m out to a few people there, and I’m kind of getting a bit stir crazy because at the moment I’m not out to enough people to really experiment and find out which are my preferred pronouns or if they change, but at the same time I’m feeling an increasingly urgent need to do so and to be out to all of them. I also can’t help wondering if being freer with my pronouns will make it easier to notice my shifts because by changing them I’m acknowledging that it’s okay for me to not be male “in public”, so to speak. I was thinking of wearing a certain hat when I’m male, not doing so when female and if people are unsure tell them they can either ask me or use “they”. Does this seem too complicated? I got the idea from this blogger: Genderfluid In College: April 2015 I do have a pronoun necklace, but it's harder to see when I'm standing at the back.
Honestly, I think it's a good idea and not too complicated, but if your concern is strangers they won't understand what the hat means, and people that you know and are out to know already. Good luck in whatever you decide!
Thanks. I'm not really worried about strangers because I'm not likely to be out to them like that, but I need my friends to vary the pronouns a bit so I can get a better idea of which ones fit the best, which they won't do unless I ask them or indicate somehow.
I purchased an appropriate baseball cap and did it. We’ll see what happens in the next few rehearsals – I may to have to enforce the pronouns a bit but I think it’s better for my mental health and happiness in the long term. Was quite nervous posting, but I’ve had a bunch of likes and hearts back on the Facebook group, so at least there’s a few people who accept it.
That's great! I'm glad the Facebook group has responded supportively, and I hope the next few rehearsals go well.
