So I'm fairly new here, and I've been hardcore questioning my gender and sexuality, and I feel like it's driving me nuts. I just need some advice... So at first I thought I was a lesbian, as I am biologically female and I am dating someone who (well actually they recently came out as nonbinary but at the time we both thought we were strictly female), and then I convinced myself I was trans. But lately, I've been feeling extremely feminine and I get a weird feeling when my friend calls me "he" as opposed to happy like I used to. This is stressing me out incredibly, and I really need some help clearing some things up. Another thing is, that I am really scared of my friends being mad at me for suddenly "changing" One of them that goes to a different school has even been correcting people to address me as "he." Actually, when I "came out" as trans, it was a complete accident. I was still trying to work it out, and I guess now I'm more confused than I was before. Sorry that was so long,,,, but thank you to anyone willing to help!! (I'm pretty sure some people have seen the flop I made when I posted this under a discussion and yes I feel stupid and I just copied the hole thing again, but I'm desperate tbh) ((I'm so sorry for whoever had to deal with that little mistake there wowie))
Could you expand a bit on why you convinced yourself you were trans? There may be some useful nuggets in there which could help us help you.
How long did you identify as trans? How long have you been feeling feminine and not liking he/him pronouns? Personally, I know that my dysphoria fluctuates, and for a long time, on days when I had less discomfort with my body/gender, I wouldn't want to be called "he". I was used to "she", and it was normal to me to be called that, so on days when it wasn't uncomfortable to be called "she", it would feel weird and foreign to be called "he". Now, I've been using he/him pronouns for a while, and it feels pretty natural every day, even the ones when I have less dysphoria. If you've only been feeling weird about he/him pronouns for a little while, I wouldn't worry about it. It's pretty common for dysphoria to fluctuate, so you might just be in a period of time where your discomfort is lower and you're less comfortable with he/him pronouns because they're not what you're used to. Hattie also asked a good question. What made you start identifying as trans in the first place?
Perhaps now is it that you're feeling pressured to "maintain" your feelings and seem confident about yourself since you feel you're being held to a new standard since coming out, and especially since you weren't emotionally ready yet? Also, have you considered that you might be bigender or nonbinary or some variation thereof?? Just calm down and let yourself feel what you do for a little while... its okay to have shifts and not know what you want, or feel that what you want changes...I personally am nonbinary and some days I long to be called he/him, but others I prefer she/her, some I don't mind feminine honorifics like "ma'am, girl" and some days I despise them and prefer to be called a boy. Just let your friend know that your feelings are still changing and that you don't feel the label "trans" fits you right now, but your feelings / doubts are still in tact.
Well (Hats) at the time I had just only ever felt really masculine, and like occasionally I'd feel super feminine, but it kinda switched between the two. I think the main reason I convinced myself of being trans is that some people had already found out, so I decided to just ignore any feeling of non-masculinity. And actually, I have heavily considered that I'm nonbinary in some way, I'm just too scared to tell people since almost everyone simply thinks I'm trans.
