Yeah. I came out and it's much better. I'm no longer stuck in my head. For the moment I have completely no time for it, but I wonder about transitioning. One. If I transitioned fully, I'm not sure if I'd like that, and it's really much fuss. Moreover, I have doubts about doing something that big with my body in order to do something social, not medical. I mean, is this really where the problem lies...? Two. If it could work this way (but no, it doesn't), I would keep my parts as they are and would look like a guy, be perceived as one in situations that don't have anything to do with my parts directly. Or if I could snap my fingers and just change the way I'm perceived with no side effects, I would do it. Three. I was raised as a girl and I'm quite different from cis men because of that. I'm oblivious to that personally, but that's one of my worries if I were to transition, that I would fail at transitioning and miss some things that I like about being a girl. I hate gender roles in the first place. Stupid invention :dry: Anyway, I enjoy being a girl in some ways, a gnc girl, I have grown to identify with that pretty strongly. Four. If it's all a matter of perception...? Then why bother? Do I care what other people think about me? Five. I don't pass. I mean sometimes I do but it's rare. My physical appearance is even bad at making me look like tomboy. I'm a little bit too pretty. I'm not even sure how to convey how I identify in clothing, hair etc. Maybe I didn't go too extreme with men's clothing? Nobody cares when I wear looser jeans, a men's hoodie and a men's tshirt. It makes me look even more feminine. Same goes with all traditionally male clothing that fits me somehow. I guess people would go "she looks masculine" if I wore clothing that is unflattering. Six. My approach to clothing is quite... artistic? I don't care what I wear, I care if it looks good, is comfy and so on. I like feminine clothes too, and I have completely no idea how I read in other people's eyes. It's fun. And I think I look good dressed like a girl. Seven. I don't want to put up with my family during my experiments. And I don't want to put up with helpful shop staff either. It stresses me out to think about it. And clothes are money too. And it doesn't look like men's clothing would fit me. Eight. Maybe I'll learn not to care. I don't know what to do with all that.
Hi Michael, That's a lot to work through! I'm sorry not to have much in the way of advice, but I'm rooting for you. Before trying to decide whether or not to transition, it seems really important to figure out whether or not there's a part of you that is integrally and happily female. It sounds as though you might be more genderfluid or genderqueer or bigender than entirely a transguy ... ? I'm not selling anything, and if you're a transguy then cool, but from your post it sounded like it might not be that simple. If it isn't, then transitioning sounds problematic, because there's all that effort and trouble and expense, and in the end you're still short one gender you need. Good luck! It sounds like you'll make a terrific guy, whether full-time or part-time. Kit
If I'm entirely trans... whatever. It's like with everyone being a bit bisexual. What matters is where you are on the spectrum, I think. I'm in the masculine half and I try not to overthink it. I'm not happy with things as they are and being treated like a girl more often than not, as the default, really annoys me. I wonder. My situation is the following. In all my classes, guys are the majority, and I don't want to be treated differently. I'm no different and it annoys me that they interact with me differently. I wonder what exactly makes them do so and if I can do anything about it. I mean, if guys were not the majority, the situation would be very similar, with everyone assuming I want to socialise with the gals and like a gal. I also have the suspision that it's my girly behaviour that I was thaught that is making me uncomfortable, but I have no idea what to do about it. It feels like an invisible mask.
