Okay, so I've been pondering the same question for quite some time. Why do I do when I'm able to transition? What to I do first? Where do I start? Stuff like that. When, and if, I get out of my house (college, etc), what do I do? I mean, I'm not good with starting things like transition. How do I tell people my preferred name and pronouns if all my IDs have my given name and male pronouns on them and I look more masculine than feminine? How do I say that I'm a girl if I look like a boy, have hair everywhere, and I have a deep voice? As much as I would like to jump straight into this, I don't know how. I want to get my hair styled (generic forward bangs) and colored, but what do I do about the other stuff? Is it practical to shave my entire body every day just to wear certain clothes? What about my voice? I feel like it will be very hard at first, people will make me/ know that I'm trans, and people would make it even more awkward to me. Especially if I want to make friends with them. I feel like people will see me as weird and would feel uncomfortable around me. At least where I've grown up, this is reality. This is part of the reason I'm so held back and reserved. I'm scared of rejection and I'm tired of feeling it no matter what I do. And what if I find somebody I like and I make it awkward with my body and voice? I mean, nobody I've ever known in real life would want to share a bed with a trans person, no matter how much they love that person. I feel that no one would want to socialize with me, let alone date me or make love to me. I want to jump into full time femininity, wear skirts and dresses, wear flats and pumps, the while nine yards! But I feel like it's just no possible, especially since I don't know what to do when started physical and social transition. I've already got the mental and emotional part down, I just need the key to open up the gate. What can I do to start transitioning physically and build good social relationships in the process? How do I make things less awkward for others and myself? Transition is the only thing I want for myself right now. I'm a woman and I want to do whatever it takes to transition so that I can live happy with myself. And what do I do if I find someone who I'd like to date or take into bed with me? What if they find me? This is what I want to do in order: Hair styling Shaving Dressing feminine Make friends and try to find someone who'd date me Go to therapists, pride centers, etcetera Get on hormones Start electrolysis Train my voice and get a femininity coach Dress more feminine more often Get breastfeeding augmentation Get FFS Get srs And whatever comes after all of that. But I don't know where to start, what to do first, or even how to make friends while transitioning. I don't know how to find a lover while I'm going through transition. How do I deal with rejection and awkwardness better? How do I help others not feel awkward around me? How do I get people to just call me Natasha without staring at me like I have five heads? How would I shave my body hair so I don't look like Chewbacca if I ever got intimate with someone or wanted to wear clothes that show my legs or my chest or underarms, etcetera. How do I stop/ manage stubble? How do I convince people of who I am and make them understand that I'm a sweetheart if they'd just give me a chance and let me show them that I can make them feel good about themselves and I can be there if they need someone to cuddle or talk to? I'm lost. I just don't know. This bugs me because I hate not knowing things. Where do I start and how do I get the train moving down the tracks? :/ :help: ^~^ ?
Laser hair removal. Lots of laser hair removal. It's the only way to get rid of our beards, that or electrolysis. Hormones tend to take care of the body hair. You probably aren't as hairy as you think you are though. I look like Bigfoot when I look down(or used to, I shave my chest constantly now), but looking in the mirror I actually wasn't that hairy. I know LOTS of guys with more chest hair than me.
In re to meeting someone you like, I challenge that idea that people won't want to be with a trans person. I say the best bet honestly is to spend time socialising in the queer community and trans community. Some people are going to be assholes, of course. Some people are going to have a preference for certain things in their partner, fair enough. But I personally myself couldn't care less whether someone is trans or not, how much someone "passes", whether their voice is deep or what's genitals they have. I know plenty of others who feel the same. The most open minded folks are in the queer community though as far as my experience has shown.
People ignore what you said so much. That people are assholes. This includes trans people. Just because they are a same demographic as you doesn't mean that everyone gets along. But meeting with similar folks makes you feel connected... which is my biggest issue I am facing. There are very few trans people around me in a 25 mile radius that are out or I know of.
People are definitely assholes, in any demographic. I'm sorry your having trouble finding a community to connect with. Do you have an LGBT centre near you? Meetups?
My one piece of advice: Don't ever, EVER let anyone one tell you are not a real woman because you have a dick. Genitals mean nothing. We are real women, and we deserve to be treated as such, and with respect. If someone doesn't feel that way, then you don't need that sort of negativity in your life. I wish you well in your future endeavors.
Downtown boston takes 45 min to get to on a good day, and it's near impossible for me to get there on a weeknight. So yea not many open LGBT people around. And the two I have seen don't give me the time of day. Rather salty cold stares or indifference.
