So, I’m 14 and I have always been a tomboy, never liked pink and never wanted to do ‘traditionally’ seen female stuff, like dolls or makeup (I played with transformers and dinosaurs when I was younger instead.) I have never fit in with the girls, seriously, I was that one girl who always hung out with the boys and would enjoy football and etcetera with them. Recently though I’ve been thinking am I more than a tomboy? I’ve become increasingly uncomfortable with my mum calling me her daughter, or by brother calling me his sister. I mean I don’t hate it or feel that it’s wrong, but every time I hear people calling me by female pronouns I just have an ‘that doesn’t sound quite right’ moment. Like someone’s just called me by the wrong name. I live in a very small village miles away from anywhere and my mum doesn’t let me buy anything of off the internet. So, because of this, I am extremely limited in any explorative male shopping, or buying things like binders just to try out, to see if I feel more ‘correct’ while wearing them. (But I recently got a very short haircut, which I’m very proud of and currently love) I just need a bit of advice on what to do. Should I wait longer, see if it’s just a phase? I’m well educated on the fact that puberty = hormone imbalances, which then = emotional stuff. Luckily, I have a very supportive family and a group of friends which I can guarantee would be with me 100% if I told them I was transgender. But… should I? Basically, the position I’m in is all or nothin’. I can’t go out and do any sneaky shopping trips without telling my mum and friends, yes, I’m buying binders, which would then end with me being a super embarrassed bundle of absolute joy…:icon_redf Any advice anyone has, please, I think I really need it.
Hello Tidbit, For a long time I thought I was transgender myself. I had the same aversion to being called the "proper pronouns," was never very girly (only makeup when I'm feeling Gothic...lol). I used to enjoy playing with boys when younger, and also played with more masculine toys (dinosaurs rock!) I also had issue with my hair and now I always cut it short. I even experimented with a different name (with one person) and wore a binder almost every day for a spell. Anyway, after a while, I realized that my issue was more that I wanted to LOOK like a man, not necessarily be one. I do get dysphoric days and will wear a binder and looser clothes (sometimes I can pass) to get by. But I found that I just don't fit the typical transgender experience. I am an "inbetweener," I just don't fit in a box. I just wish my body reflected that...more androgynous. Anyway, enough about that! Is dysphoria something you experience everyday, all the time? That is a good indicator. I wouldn't discount hormonal upheavals, but the feelings you are expressing can mean more than that. Just don't rush into things. Thinking things through is always good. Educate yourself (if you haven't already) by reading online and via books. EC is a great start. Even talking to a therapist can help sort out your thoughts (scary word, but they are there to help.) FYI, if you are going to start binding, do it in short increments or you will find yourself in a bit of pain. Your body has to adjust to it slowly. Also, please understand that binding will be fairly obvious...unless you are *ahem* small chested. You can always say you are wearing a sports bra though. The basic one from Underworks functions either way. Hope some of this helps...Questioning is a hard thing to go through, but if you persevere you will find your answer. Sebby45
