I had a bit of a emotional crisis last night. At dinner with family, while most already know my gender identity they do slip up and use the wrong name and pronouns a few times, or sometimes more than a few times. And I am trying so hard to be calm and civil and gently correct them. But according to my dad, I seem to be snarky, angry when correcting people. This could be from my ASD and lack of social signal understanding, but I think I have been keeping calm about it. So when he told me I was beign angry and needed to change my attitude, how intolerant I am, I broke down in tears that night, tried to keep it together till we finally went home. My sister comforted me but it still didnt really help that much, I was so upset. I understand slip ups. I really do. But it's that they dont recognise it, or appologise for it is what is bothering me and hurts my feelings. How can I get through this? If I correct them, I'm being angry and intolerant to their feelings. But if I dont I feel it will just keep happening, so I need to remind them to not have it happen again. I can't win with these people. Has anyone else had this issue? How have you coped with it? Because I'm feeling at the end of my rope here How can I correct them without offending anyone?
Hi Yasha of XMETAS, I'm sorry you are having a tough time with this. If you have a hard time recognizing social cues, I would suggest maybe writing a letter to your family, explaining how you feel. That way they won't feel like they are being attacked, even though you feel calm when you reproach them. Think of it from their perspective. Trying to understand and adapt to your gender identity may be hard for them sometimes. I know you said you understand slip ups, so let them know that in your letter. Then explain how you would like them to handle it. What would make you feel more comfortable. That is what I would do anyway. Sebby45
Thanks for the response (btw love L, and yer icon is cool love anime XP ) But telling him that I had infact had 4 rum coolers that night had swayed my emotions a tad, didn't help much, and I never ever drink as much as 4. He thinks I'm pushing my expectations on everyone, desperate for approval, and insecure. THIS coming from a man, who to this day, thinks that my mom and grandma is conspriring against him, making him look like the bad guy, turning me and my siblings against him. Not ONCE did they do that. Not one poor word against my dad was spoken in my and my sibling's prescence, not once. And he's calling ME insecure and angry??! HA! XD And then, after all of that, he tells me to try to relax and have a good time, try to be happy. Dad's formula is as follows: condescending/judgmental lecture+supportive comment after said behaviour. And he wonders why we don't really talk to him or have issues >< Either way, I will try to keep the corrections to family to a minimum, even though I really don't think I'm the bad guy for doing so. Thankyou for your advice and support Sebby45
