I've written about coming out on here before and I finally got the courage to write that letter and the other day I sent it to my mom and she was fine with everything. But, that's not quite what this is about. I don't normally feel myself that dysphoric, not usually out around in public much I guess cause I try and stay away from dealing with people as it is with my shy ass but when I'm by myself I really don't like looking at myself, it's like I'm abhorrent to the idea of having to do so. I'm an afab but a Demiboy and have been attempting to present more masculine for a while now but I feel a lot like around myself that I feel too female regardless and a lot of it's my voice. There's not a lot I can do about that on a whole unless I change my hormones or what have you. That and I can't really look at my own face much either because I feel that's too, not passing? However I have just gotten a boy-cut for my hair and that made me smile so damn much. What I'm attempting to say I guess in my ever long word vomit is that I don't know if I can say I feel dysphoric because most of what I've read or heard from people or whichever is more anxiety based or something along those lines. I don't know really, I'm still sorta new to exploring all of this in my own life rather than just being an observer.
Hi fellCas, first, congrats for coming out. It's great that your mum is supportive! Dysphoria comes in many ways and strengthes. Some people get anxiety during social interactions, for others it's more about their body in general. For me personally, it's mainly about my chest, my period, and sometimes about my name. It gets worse when I'm reminded of my appearance and when I'm alone and have time to think about gender. In daily life I sometimes totally forget about it. What you describe sounds like dysphoria to me. However, remember that you do not have to have strong dysphoria to be trans or nonbinary. If you know you're a demiboy, that's all it takes to be one. I'm really glad that I am usually not very dysphoric as dysphoria can make life a lot harder.
Thanks ^_^ Yeah I know it does, it makes things a lot harder although I can say I've never really liked myself or my body much but growing up and having to be female I always just thought living in the community I did (packed full of churches and close minded sameness) that it was my 'female self doubt about my body image because media and peer pressure'. I do wear a binder most of the time when I go out though now.
