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Want to be more feminine

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Rdougall1, Jan 10, 2017.

  1. Rdougall1

    Regular Member

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    Hi there,

    This is the first time posting in this area so I hope this is the right spot for it. I am coming up to my first anniversary of coming out as gay in February so I'm really looking forward to that. I came out to both myself and my community last year so they know I'm gay. The reason that I'm posting in this area is that there still seems to be something missing about myself. I have a desire to be more feminine in my personality because it would make me...complete. I used to believe that I had to act a certain way because I was gay and I wanted to rebel against those stereotypes but I feel that those stereotypical qualities are part of my true identity that I'm surpressing. I find myself sometimes looking through my closet for an outfit that I can't seem to find so I just throw on random clothes because I don't know what "matching" means. I also find this with cooking and taking care of children. Has anyone ever felt this way? How can I unsurpress it? I apologize if I offended anyone.
     
  2. A Wanderer

    A Wanderer Guest

    You may need to figure out what you'd like to do without comparing yourself to others. Just do what feels natural. If other people behave that way, it doesn't matter. It's still you. It feels great to break stereotypes, I get that much. Just don't jeopardize your identity for it.

    Take a step back and reevaluate. Start from your roots and work your way up.
     
  3. Rdougall1

    Regular Member

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    Thank you. Can you clarify what you mean by roots?
     
  4. A Wanderer

    A Wanderer Guest

    By your roots... I mean how you've always behaved or wanted to behave. Something true and pure. Who you are and what you like. What made you happy as a kid? That sort of thing.

    Sometimes it takes a retrospective look to move forward.
     
  5. Rdougall1

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    Thank you.

    Now that I really think about it, I remember in preschool I used to play dollhouse with one of my friends who was a girl and I think we played dress up one time. I also remember pretending to cook. I don't ever think I did it at home though because it was not what I was provided to play with. Again those memories are vague but my instinct tells me they are real. I think I stopped doing that when I was no longer able to play at school if that makes sense.
     
  6. A Wanderer

    A Wanderer Guest

    No problem!

    I'm sure there's some way to incorporate that into your life now. Perhaps acquiring an eye for fashion or other things like that? There are plenty of feminine hobbies you can pick up. Explore them a bit and find something that really resonates with you. Most importantly, remember to have fun!
     
  7. BedlamBill

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    I'm looking at my gender expression at the moment. I'm physically male, but put myself somewhere near agender/ neutral. I've been experimenting with skirts, tights etc (in public). What I've realised is that gender expression takes many forms, not just clothing. Little things like mannerisms, crossing of legs, and how bow you hold your hands on your lap. The whole way you behave and hold yourself. It can be subtle, but noticeable. As a middle-aged bloke with a beard would struggle to present myself in a typical androgyne way. I feel the best option is to present as 'gender bending'. Also I wear nail polish, that's really funny when people have a problem with it.