Anyone else feel this way about their binder?

I felt worse the first time I wore my binder, because it reminded me that I had have one to just to look a fraction of what I want (I have a larger chest, too, so it's never completely flat). It shouldn't have been this way in the first place.

 

I agree, Sam.

The binder I actually don't wear that much these days because it is suffocating, I already have chronic back pain which I do not wish to exacerbate, and feeling it on me is a constant reminder that I don't have a naturally flat chest. I shudder to think of wearing it all the time when I'm presenting fully and publicly as male.

Typically I'll don the binder when I am under a lot of top dysphoria or going around peers for a class or what have you. The thought of other people noticing my chest, unbound, is humiliating. So I bind in public or wear layers. But at home it is just the sport brah and loose t shirt.

 

I'm an H. It's pretty hopeless. I'm getting reduction done to a D-ish size, so that I can more effectively bind.