Hi! I'm new to the forum and very new to questioning my gender. For starters, I've always felt fine being female and identifying as female, but for some reason, something happened to me today that kind of spooked me. So I like guy on guy stuff, I guess because I love guys who are feminine (poor explanation, I know). I recently got into another homosexual anime and I found myself wanting to be like the feminine guy. I've felt this feeling before, but today was different. I decided to put on a sports bra and a button up and had fun trying to look similar in the mirror. Then I put on some pants, tucked in the shirt, and it looked fine but there was something missing. I decided to pull the pants down a bit so they hung the way a guy would wear them and then I looked up. I almost cried. Afterwards, I felt like I was going crazy because I'm a girl and there's no way I would want to be a guy! Then I watched some "how to know if you're trans" videos... I was kind of shocked and horrified by some of the similarities. Ever since I cut all my hair off, I felt more me... I often wear sports bras because I want to appear flat chested... I don't feel comfortable in makeup or dressing girly, I feel more me loose fitting clothing that hides my curves... I'm not saying I'm trans because I don't think I am, but this has made me question a lot of things... Regardless if it's a gender thing or just style choice, I want to be comfortable in who I am. Any thoughts?
First of all, welcome! Nice to have you here. I think there is a huge difference between wanting to be LIKE the guy or wanting to BE the guy. Did you want to look like him or did you really want to be him / a male feminine guy in that moment? The first one might be about what clothes you like / how you want to present, the second could indicate that you are not totally cis. Also, how often has this happened to you? Lots of people have similarities with lots of other people. You can be a masculine looking woman and be very uncomfortable with looking "girly". I think you should ask yourself why you like having short hair / wearing loose clothes. Is it because it makes you look more masculine? Or just because you like the way you look in it? These are the most important parts of your post. If you are that sure that you don't want to be a guy, it's very likely that you are just a masculine girl. It's possible that your concious mind fights being trans. However, you mentioned that you are comfortable being a girl which strongly indicates you are cis. Regarding being comfortable in who you are: I think you are on the right track. Continue experimenting with different ways to present yourself and observe how they make you feel. It's also perfectly valid to be confused. I know it's hard but I'd advice you not to put to much pressure upon yourself to find the right category / label. Focus on what you want to do and then do these things. All the best Quinn
Okey. Let's anwser a fee separate questions: who do you want to be, how you want to look like, what you want to be, what do you want to do, and who are you on the insideu? ---------- Post added 19th Jan 2017 at 05:51 AM ---------- All the tests are pretty bad because they ask you what you believe, and beliefs can often be false. I think... yes, the why question. Why do you crossdress? What is your motivation?
Thank you so much! You really brought up some great points... I've always wanted to look boyish which could explain why I'm not crazy about how curvy I am. However, I think you're right because I think I'd be happier being a girl that looks like a boy. I guess I thought that my reaction wasn't normal or that most cis girls aren't like that, but maybe my perspective is just limited because I have a really preppy sister and come from a small conservative town and family. Thank you for the warm welcome ---------- Post added 19th Jan 2017 at 10:18 AM ---------- Hmmm... I guess I don't know the answer entirely but a lot of times, I just want to look less feminine. Maybe I'm just not a girly girl, but androgyny has always fascinated me. I guess a lot of it has to do with wanting others to see me as a person and not as a girl... Maybe I just need to experiment more with style and just see how I feel because I don't know the answers to a lot of these questions... But I think now I'm pretty sure I'm not trans, thanks for the help!
