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Thinking of going by a different name...

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by CaptainGarbage, Jan 20, 2017.

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  1. CaptainGarbage

    CaptainGarbage
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    So I'm out to a couple friends but they keep forgetting to use my preferred pronouns, one of my friends told me it's because my name sounds too feminine and that makes it hard to remember what pronouns to use. I've been wanting to start going by a different name for a while now, but that was kind of the push I needed to start seriously looking at names. Right now I go by Quinn, but I do have a list of names, my top three are Wilder, Cash, and Elliot. Thoughts/Suggestions? :confused2:
     
    #1 CaptainGarbage, Jan 20, 2017
  2. PrinceVegeta

    PrinceVegeta
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    Well, when I first realized I wasmale, the name just hit me right away. I went "yeah, Vince sounds good". But I know it isn't that way for everyone. I don't think we should be picking your name. All 3 sound great, but which one do you think feels the most like you?
     
    #2 PrinceVegeta, Jan 20, 2017
  3. CaptainGarbage

    CaptainGarbage
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    I kind of flip flop between the three? For a while Cash was my favorite, but now I think it sounds too similar to my friend's name, so it might be weird and confusing. This week I've been leaning more towards Wilder though.
     
    #3 CaptainGarbage, Jan 20, 2017
  4. PrinceVegeta

    PrinceVegeta
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    It shouldn't just be a name you think sounds cool... The name should just.. feel "right" you know? Like a piece to a puzzle that just connects, or a lego piece that clicks perfectly with no sides slightly out and the other piece doesn't feel loose, you know? Maybe you should go to google, look up names and meanings, and look at which names suit your personality, then go from there.
     
    #4 PrinceVegeta, Jan 20, 2017
  5. CaptainGarbage

    CaptainGarbage
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    Well, when I picked the names I tried to look for names I could see myself being called, names I thought would fit, and I felt like the names I picked out did fit in a way?? Just not the way I thought they would. I've started sort of test driving the names on other websites to see which one felt right, but it just made me more confused, so I'm looking for other opinions to help me make the decision.
     
    #5 CaptainGarbage, Jan 20, 2017
  6. PrinceVegeta

    PrinceVegeta
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    I see.. Well, in that case, I like the name Elliot a lot. Especially since the other 2 kind of sound more like nicknames.
     
    #6 PrinceVegeta, Jan 20, 2017
  7. CaptainGarbage

    CaptainGarbage
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    Thanks! You've been really helpful! :icon_bigg (*hug*)
     
    #7 CaptainGarbage, Jan 20, 2017
  8. PepperP

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    I agree with PrinceVegeta in that Cash and Wilder are quite unusual and so could be construed as nicknames, whereas Elliot seems pretty solid. They are all lovely names though!

    I had two names I couldn't decide between. One was very sensible - boring, even - and the other was a name I really liked as a name. I went with the one I liked and started using it with a group of friends, and it just felt wrong. It's a lovely name, but it wasn't me. I have now opted for the 'boring' name because it feels so right when someone uses it. It's nice and normal and dull, and I like it that way!

    Obviously I'm not trying to push you toward a certain name - you need to find the one that makes you feel the most comfortable. Just thought I'd share my little snippet because I was in a similar back-and-forth situation. Good luck :slight_smile:
     
    #8 PepperP, Jan 20, 2017
  9. CaptainGarbage

    CaptainGarbage
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    Yeah, I think one of the reasons I liked the name Cash so much is because I feel like it's a name my father would like. I am not out with either of my parents, but them liking the name I choose when I do come out is very important to me. I can totally see how those names could be seen as nicknames though.

    Thanks for sharing your snippet with me! :slight_smile:
     
    #9 CaptainGarbage, Jan 20, 2017
  10. PrinceVegeta

    PrinceVegeta
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    But you need to think about yourself - not others at this point. The whole coming out process is being completely true to yourself, so you can finally be happy with who you are, and in every way. That includes your name. Don't just choose the name because your father will like it, choose it because it feels like you.
     
    #10 PrinceVegeta, Jan 20, 2017
  11. CaptainGarbage

    CaptainGarbage
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    I feel like my statement wasn't super clear, sorry about that!

    When I said I liked it because I thought my father would like it, I meant that I thought it would be a name we both like and something we would agree on. I liked the name before I thought my dad might like it, but the idea that he would like it made me feel closer to him in a way? I feel like that sounds weird :/

    But you're right, I really shouldn't worry about trying to appease other people when it comes to this. Thank you for the advice! :slight_smile:
     
    #11 CaptainGarbage, Jan 20, 2017
  12. PrinceVegeta

    PrinceVegeta
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    hahah I see. And no, it's not weird.

    Glad to help.
     
    #12 PrinceVegeta, Jan 20, 2017
  13. Rickystarr

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    I may be biased because Elliot is one of my favorite names, but I like that one.
     
    #13 Rickystarr, Jan 20, 2017
  14. Lacybi

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    For me it took a while to figure out my and actually I just started going by Seth "for the time being" even though I knew it wasn't quite right. Anyway a year and five name changes later (Seth-Lex-Seth-Ollie-Seth) I've realised that maybe Seth is best after all. It just grew on me. My point here is that by trying them out you'll figure out what name fits.
     
    #14 Lacybi, Jan 21, 2017
  15. CaptainGarbage

    CaptainGarbage
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    Thanks for the advice and suggestions! I've started using Elliot with some close friends to see if it sticks.
     
    #15 CaptainGarbage, Jan 27, 2017
  16. Kodo

    Kodo
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    Big fan of Elliot as well. Very classy.
     
    #16 Kodo, Jan 27, 2017
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