Transitions and lack thereof

I'm not planning to transition at this moment. I like the idea of being physically male but I don't think my body discomfort warrants physical alterations. As I understand it, SRS for trans men is a bit dangerous as well. I have a pro and con list in my head and that makes it fairly clear for me. Being able to present and be recognized by people I care about is enough for me. That said, I know my feelings in the future might change and I may decide I need to transition. Talking to my partner about that was important and is the reason I joined here in the first place.

 

It's hard to say. Since I think there are many reasons to do so, and many reasons why someone doesn't want to or is hesitant to.

For me, it's more the concerns of the side effects of transitioning socially. It feels to me like painting a giant bullseye on my back and telling the world "do your worst". I have a lot to lose in terms of job security. And so the nagging voice in the back of my head about how I am now "isn't right" is fighting against the other nagging voice telling me "you're screwed" if I do. And sometimes that first voice goes on vacation for weeks or a couple months at a time.

 

An oh-so-accurate description . For me the voice telling me that how i am not isn't right, has become almost deafening after the my previous long term relationship fell apart. When I was in a relationship i would silence it with "Well, yeah, but there's our special someone who thinks I'm right for them, who is happy with me as I am and wouldn't want me to transition". Right now I don't have that anymore and with each day I am closing in to the irreversible steps.

 

Transitioning has to be decided on with a fully disclosed understanding of what that will mean but also, whether it addresses the root cause / underlying issue. I myself don't suffer with dysphoria as much now I'm on T, apart from the chest bumps and feeling tiny compared to cis guys. It was an active choice. If you don't feel you want or need it, that's cool. Still makes you trans in my book matey.

 

I have days where it doesn't seem necessary, where I'm okay being physically male...then the days come where I feel like I need to for my sanity. I feel like it's either end up killing myself eventually or do something about it.

Lately the latter is more common than I'd like.

 

I think you are fine the way you are if you don't wish to transitioning. Don't put yourself through something you don't need to go through.

I'm not 100% sure transitioning is the right thing for me but in the end I know it will be what I do. Not because I have dreadful dysphoria (sometimes I do but most times it so timid I barely notice it) but because in my head I picture myself 10 years from now and I am always a guy outside and in. To not be able to reach that, the fear that certain things (like a new president) getting in the way of that does make question if I would have the will to go and live. I don't want to keep living a lie.

But that is me.

You are fine with your body and do not wish to change it for whatever reason, then do not. You are male either way.

 

If it is any consolation, I am not going to transition either. I am slowly realizing that I am a person like anyone else, and I can live my life how I choose without having to prove, like a rite of initiation, that I am such and such. I just am. Sure there are days that suck, because I get a lot of feminine comments, etc. But if I can use coping skills to blow that off, it doesn't hurt as much. And if I just behave the way I want to, that is as good as a transition to me.

I don't know, I'm sorting this out too. But I know I ultimately wouldn't like the result of a transition either, so what is the point?

I'm rambling...I guess I am just saying be true to yourself. If you feel that you don't get very dysphoric, there is no pressure to change yourself physically.

 

I wish I could not. But considering one of the things that's keeping me sane is "I'll be happier when I'm done" I don't see that as an option.

 

Same.

For myself personally, I need T and top surgery. Bottom surgery is possible to live without, but I will have to decide that later on. The only way I cope is by telling myself that one day my body will be made right.

 

Me, personally, I need to transition. I can't imagine living a couple more years in this body, let alone the rest of my life. I am at a point where I think about transitioning every single day, think about how much I cannot wait to inject testosterone into my body, think about how much I long to look in the mirror and see myself.

But everyone is different, and everyone has different levels of dysphoria and I know of trans people who have little to none. And honestly, it's your body. You can do whatever the hell you want with it, and it's up to no one but you. If you don't feel the urge or desire to transition, then don't. Simple as that.

 

Same here. I can live without bottom surgery, but estrogen, implants and hair removal are things I need.

 

Don't ever let someone tell you how you need to shape your body or if it needs shaping. You are you.

I still wish for my body to be a certain way. One is that I'd been born male so I"d be able to do all the things boys do . . . and so that I'd have an easier time with women. Maybe I'd be more brave and ask out more women if I were a guy. I probably would.

But in the end, I've boiled it down to what I really want.

I want to be able to do all the things I want to do and to wear my hair and clothes the way I want to, and feel safe doing so and expressing myself.

And I want a woman to love me for who and what I am.

Maleness, femaleness, gender . . . it's all a mentality, not a physical appearance. Even if nobody believes it or understands it, I don't blame them for not understanding and I don't feel invalidated by what they say. If I keep living honestly, whwatever that means for me, they'll come to understand in time that I am a valid human being, regardless of my gender identity. And that's all I really want. I don't mind if I get called a woman. It's a bit odd, but that's what they see.

and even they start to question it when they see my hair and my dress. Something doesn't feel right to me about being female, and something doesn't feel right to them for calling me female. It's all a perception.