Like really really ugly? i used to have a bad case of body dysmorphia and i often feel gender dysphoria but lately i've just decided, to hell with it all i don't care anymore. i don't want to care any more. i want peoplet o look at me and see me for who i am, not what i am. and i think i'm clsoer to that than ever before. I'm living a more honest life now, dressing how i want, appearing how i want, acting how i want. i am by no means gorgeous in the traditional sense of the word, but.... it's hard for me to see myself as being truly ugly any more. it's as if, by pretending not to care, i no longer care as much. or maybe i realized that nobody cared when i was pretty anyways, so why should they care now that i've adopted this genderneutral appearance that appeals to only a select subset of the population?
Yes. Completely 100%. I used to see myself as being completely disgusting. I could rarely bear to look in the mirror. This was from the age of about 11-12. I was adamant at that time that I would never ever find someone to love me because of how completely ugly I was. After coming to terms with myself and starting my transition though I started to feel more content with how I looked and can now even find myself reasonably attractive on occasion.
Yes, there are days when I can't look in the mirror because I just see a "guy" looking back at me, beard and all, and that makes me feel ugly... especially the facial hair, that is the main cause of those days.
Oh my god, I feel this honey! All the time....soon we'll see only beautiful young women(do I still count as a young woman at my age?) staring back, and all this will be a distant memory.
Almost all the time. I've done many harmful things just because I couldn't stand how I looked. I still have some pretty bad days, but like you I am starting to say "to hell with that" and just be myself. Now I feel like a freak, but a comfortable freak. :lol:
When I was younger, yes; but it was never caused by dysphoria. I had (and still kind of do) an eating disorder and BDD (body dismporphia disorder).. I was never even close to overweight but I used to think I was fat and gross... I hated even looking in a mirror. For the most part, I am over that but the thoughts never completely go away.. I find more relief from those thoughts by exercising, working out, a vegan diet, and I count calories.