Trans help

It sounds like you have a old fashioned family to me. My Dad is somewhat similar about me being demi-bi(actually demi-pan) with the whole "no you're just confused and abstinent" schtick I only expect him to understand once I get married someday.

They will understand someday just who you are, till then, just know you have support here when you need it.

 

I'd recommend trying to have a somewhat formal conversation with your dad and explain why it's important to you, try to hear him out and address his concerns. Being respectful and sympathetic are much more likely to be effective--not that I know how much you've already discussed mutually, but if you haven't really explained in more depth that may help. As your grandma, politely stand up for yourself. She can't tell you what your sexuality is, it's ridiculous that she lectured you on it. Try not to worry about it too much, it's her personal problem and she'll come around or she won't.

I don't know if there are specific patterns in what constitutes a "girl"/"boy" haircut, but I'd recommend just going for the shortest your mom will allow & styling it as necessary or maybe wearing hats.

 

First I'll start off addressing your last question, which I assume is pretty rhetorical. There is no such thing, which I'm sure you may know. Even though you may not feel that it represents you, try finding a hairstyle that you want on a very feminine looking person, and that hair will seem feminine to your parents. Once you get it cut you can try and style it a bit more to help flatter your face in a masculine way.

Now, on to the main issue. Sadly, there is no simple fix to making your family accept you (I've had to come to terms with this myself). However, you can do your best to compromise with them. Constantly arguing and saying things to them that may get them worked up definitely doesn't help. Try suggesting to your parents that they don't have to call you by your preferred name and pronouns, but you'd really appreciate it if they eased up on using your birth name and pronouns. Maybe try finding a way to make your birth name androgynous sounding and ask if they can use it as a nickname. That is really the best you can do for now except give them time to adjust and learn to accept the concept.

Never let their constant lectures discourage you in any way - just stick with who you know you are. If they try to tell you it's a phase you can always say, "even if it is a phase, it's what makes me happy and comfortable right now."

I hope I was able to help somewhat and I hope you are able to figure things out with your family soon - you can always comment on my wall if you need someone to talk to <3

 

Dude, I'm having the same issues with my family. Good lord. If I remind them, I'm "angry and snippy about it". And I have to remind them when they slip, which for some is ALL the damned time!

I understand slip ups, I really really do. It's been like 25 years of so calling me 'she,her' etc. But here's the thing. There's a difference between a slip and just not giving a crap. Slips are when you say the wrong thing, but then you realize it seconds later and say "oh sorry, i meant___" That's what a slip is. Not even giving a crap, is when you don't even TRY to use the right pronouns and names. My brother and sister are the worst for this. If they had even tried to call me by my proper name and pronouns, and occasionally made a slip up then it would be different. But they don't. And that's the main problem that's pissing me off so much!!! Brother gave me a lecture on how he's on my side, and still love me an all that crap, then seconds later after that after telling me all that, and telling me I get angry and an attitude when correcting them, called me SHE and HER twice in one sentance and didn't even bat an eye at it either!!!! :bang:

I've been out since near the end of 2015. And they still can't get it right. I don't know how long you've been out, but the whole 'its going to take some getting used to' thing can only get you so far before you need to actually start trying. And it's clear that they're not.

Sometimes you just can't get through to people I'm sorry but sometimes it just happens. They need to understand where this anger is coming from, and correct it themselves if they want to see a differnet reaction. You do have every right to be angry, but sometimes you can't control how people act, just your reactions. Perhaps with time, if and when you start to transition medically and such, they will see that this is happening, and they're going to HAVE to adjust their attitudes.

No one, and I mean NO ONE can tell you who and what you are, or how you feel. If you believe you are a man, then you are one. If you believe you are Bi, then you are Bi. If you want to pair characters together in weird shippings then go right ahead, have at it. I do it ALL the time myself lol. Thorin X Bilbo, Harry X Draco, Koga X InuYasha, etc the list is mighty and vast. Parent's just are not going to get it. As long as you're comfortable in your own skin becoming male then that's all that matters.

I think in the long run my advice is to just explain to them just HOW this makes you feel, and why. Make them understand how much this hurts and bothers you, and ask them to please try harder for your sake. If anyone else here has any better suggestions then listen to them too. Because I'm having the same problems myself.

And Hair, I'm afraid I'm not too sure on that one. There's a difference I think in short male hair cuts and female short hair cuts. Pixie styles for examples are more feminine. Maybe look up short male hair cuts on Google and such and see if there's any styles that you like and ask the stylist to do it That's what I did for mine Good luck!

 

I've heard of the term "boy hair", my mum likes to use that to describe mine all the time. In reality there's no such thing as "boy hair" or "girl hair", just different styles. At the moment short hair is generally considered to be masculine, but it shouldn't really. In some cultures it's the norm for girls cut their hair very short. Likewise there are other cultures where people of all genders grow their hair out.

As for your family and peers, probably the best thing you can do is to try and talk to them about your feelings, and explain to them what it means to be trans and bisexual. Hopefully they'll be willing to listen to what you have to say, in which case try and educate them as much as you can. However not everybody will be willing to accept you, so make the most out of any accepting people you can get to, whether online or in person.

 

I came out twice to my parents - both times as nonbinary and asexual. The most recent time was nearly a year ago; I'm still she'd and daughter'd. I've been going by Ollie since September because it's more neutral but I'd swear my parents go out of their way to call me olivia.
Have you come out to any of your friends? Are they accepting? For me that's my freedom. Also I'm an admin on a LGBT page on Instagram and have my name as Seth on tumblr - that's so validating. Maybe you could do that?
Basically what I'm saying is ignore your family and not kick up a fuss for now, just tip along. Cut your hair shorter gradually, always using femake models with short hair. Slowly change your clothes more neutral (charity shops are amazing for this). Be you with as many people as you can because that's what really matters.