This feels so whiney and I'm tempted not to even post it, but I feel so off today. I feel like I'm overdoing it. Like trying to be masculine is bothering people. No one has said anything or done anything to make me feel like this, I just do. It's like, I imagine people saying that I'm doing this for attention or that I'm weird. It's weird because I was so happy with my haircut and I did a cool style with it that looks more masculine but in a very neutral and fashionable kind of way. I was so proud and happy and it felt so good. But as the day goes my chest hurts and I feel more and more like I should be trying to blend in. That I should be ashamed or that I should just be normal and be a girl and suck it up. That I'm just making life harder than it needs to be. I guess I just want to vent it out, maybe others feel like this from time to time? I just want work to be over so I can go home and not have eyes around to scrutinize me. Where I can zone out and read a book or play video games. My confidence boost has turned depressive :help:
Aww First of all, (*hug*) we all need those from time to time. Your journey is one that is so rarely taken. Chances are, you don't have someone who can identify with your troubles. Sometimes that unto itself is enough to make us feel isolated and alone. Fact is, we are here for you!!! I sometimes, and I know this sounds SUPER corny, get lost in some of the threads on this site. Try to help someone else who is going through a rough patch of their own, or keep it light with some of the other threads like the fun and games and entertainment threads. Maybe start a thread of your own about some of your triumphs. You never know who you may wind up inspiring. OMG!! this is totally sounding like an after school special or something. YIKES!! Anyways as corny or cheesy as this all may sound, it may help. I really hope it does. Be well and be strong.
You're not alone, a lot of people feel that way. When I got my first binder, I felt worse about my chest. Every time I get a haircut, I ask myself why I don't just let it grow and try to be "normal". It will fade when you remember who you are and why you're doing this in the first place. And then you remember that you are normal, just going through something different to others.
