I really like warmth, and being warm. I don't mean sweating like soaked rag, but I mean feeling warm as in blankets and such. Putting a blanket over myself and cuddling up with it makes me feel so much better, so nice and warm and cozy. When I'm outside, I kinda hate feeling cold. I always like to have a sweater covering my arms and torso. I like warm clothes that kinda hug my body and feel like blankets. Just something about it makes me feel so good, so much better, so comfortable. I guess I've always seen warm things as comfort items, but it seems like it goes a little bit beyond that. I really like warmth and feeling warm, it just feels so good. It's feels so cuddly and cozy, I feel like blankets or sweaters make me feel so much better even on a hot day. It just feels so nice. It almost always makes me feel better. So soft, so snuggly and cuddly, so nice and cozy and warm. It's hard to explain. This connects with me being trans because this makes me feel so much more comfortable. Cuddling up some warmth always makes me feel good. It helps me feel better, especially when I'm feeling down or anxious. It also helps me somewhat, fill the void, sort to speak when I feel lonely. In a world where I pretty much have no one, blankets and warm things make me feel like I have something. Most of what I type on here I type while tucked in under a blanket or while wearing a sweater. It kinda feels like a "safe space" in a way. Wearing a hoodie or other long sleeve sweater or jacket makes me feel more comfortable in public places as well as in my home. Blankets do the same, but on a bigger scale. Being trans and having a rude, neglectful, intrusive, disrespectful, verbally abusive, and sometimes physically abusive, family, I kinda need something to make me feel safe. I don't have a door in my room, I have a curtain that no one respects and just throws open and invites themselves in whenever they feel like it. Like legit, anyone and everyone just comes barging into my room for no reason. And then they leave the curtain open so anybody else can see in. I'm constantly getting spied on and have basically no privacy. And I'm often treated like a prisoner. It's really great when people tell you "You never do anything" "You're a hermit" "You can't survive on your own, just look at you" "You don't show that you can take care of yourself" "You never leave the house" meanwhile I'm not allowed to leave the house, I'm not allowed to get a job, I'm not allowed to do anything my parents don't specifically approve of. I have to hide most of my things away from them because, even though I'm 18, they'd think "Oh this isn't for you" or "Oh I don't like this or like you doing this or looking at this" and try to take it away from me. When I came out, I told my mom I had been talking to people online and she got all upset and paranoid about that because she thinks everyone on the Internet is a pedophile/ predator. She doesn't like me playing video games, I have to hide multi player games, because she thinks I'm going to get hacked or molested by someone online. She also thinks Amazon is a scam. So I have to hide a lot of stuff, and nothing is sacred to my parents. I'm not allowed to have privacy, "I'll leave you alone when I'm dead" "It's my house, you're my kid" "I don't like that" "Oh shut up" "Stop making claims" "Stop complaining" "Get over it" "Ah, leave me alone" "Fix it yourself" "I'm not doing that" "You're not leaving" "Where do you think you're going" "No" "Knock it off" and so on. My parents love to keep a stranglehold on me and my sister loves to justify it. I'm one of the most reasonable, responsible, logical people you could ever meet, and my sister will justify my parents going ape over nothing with a comment like "You're just being a typical teen" "You're just in a rebellion phase" "Stop making false claims" "They have a point" and such. I get zero respect in my house. And my parents seem to think they own me and need to control me. I honestly feel that even after I leave, they're still going to try and keep a leash on me. It's like they've honestly convinced themselves that I'm a threat to myself and I don't know what I'm doing and I'm lost without them. I have basically nothing outside my specifically designated space, specifically engineered for my well being. Well being is a, relative, term. Get the idea? I find comfort in warmth. It makes me feel better. It calms me, soothes me, makes me feel like I'm safe and cuddly and not a threat to myself (as many people have tried to make me believe). I like warmth. It temporarily gets rid of my anxiety, loneliness, fear, depression, and cold. I don't like feeling cold and alone, at least if I'm warm I can feel somewhat comfortable. I can just curl up in a blanket and cry myself to sleep and feel perfectly fine with it. Blankets and sweaters and such give me such a good feeling, make me feel so good, make me feel like I actually have something where I have nothing.
