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Friend starting being transphobic.

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Twisted777, Feb 6, 2017.

  1. Twisted777

    Full Member

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    Location:
    South Yorkshire
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    For context, I'm a cis guy and I've recently developed a crush on a girl from the drama department at my college. Let's call her T.

    This friend of mine, let's call him S, whom I've known for about four years, said something the other day about how he thinks transgender people shouldn't be able to get re-assignment surgery for free on the NHS. I disagree, that's literally what the NHS is, you pay tax and if you have something medically wrong with you, they fix it - as far as I'm concerned, being born with the wrong genitals and going through puberty with the wrong hormones is, fundamentally, a medical condition.

    But, freedom of speech - by its nature - invites differing opinions. I let it slide, without being particularly vocal about my opposing view.

    This morning we got back onto the subject of sexuality and gender dysphoria, long story short - he was very rude about his cousin (who recently began transitioning), he went on to say that people who want to 'lop bits off of themselves' must be crazy. He said something about it being 'just a cry for attention', I actually winced when he said that. And I'm sure he used the word psycho at some point.

    I wanted to mention T, with whom we had both worked at the end of last year (she made a difficult project not only bearable, but enjoyable). I didn't say anything, as I didn't want to out her - he asked me a few times during the project if I thought she was trans, I just said 'she's a girl' and left it at that - I made assumptions fairly quickly, but never really cared (I'm bi, the mechanics are more of an afterthought), I knew for sure when she added me on Facebook, after some mild stalking. I didn't start to have feelings for her until about two weeks before the end of the project.

    I always thought he was a fairly liberal guy, with similar views to my own...we've found a place where we differ. I was actually thinking about coming out this year, he's the one out of my class I thought would have the least reaction - he managed to insult most of the LGBT community in this ten minute tirade.

    I feel like I should confront him about this, he's not usually this much of a dick. But at the same time, he's not hurting anyone with his views, he's just a bit ignorant.

    S: 'I can't understand wanting to change part of your body, it's like any other plastic surgery, I've never felt that I had to go under the knife.'
    Me: 'Good for you, not everyone is as comfortable in their own skin as you are.'
    S: 'Yeah, but isn't it just like self-harm, like getting a boob-job for attention?'
    Me *trying not to look disgusted*: 'Not everyone goes straight to the surgical option, there's HRT too.'

    Should I say nothing, and see if he makes some other comment? Or should I confront him? Either way, I feel compelled to try to stick up for my fellow LGBT's and tell him to spend twenty minutes on Google and see if he can't learn a thing or two.
     
  2. dyl pickle

    Full Member

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    Location:
    New Jersey
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I think it depends on how you think he'll react to it. If you think he'll turn on you and it'll lead to something bad happening. If his hurtful talk continues, you should definitely confront him about it. Maybe find some good articles online first to send to him so that he doesn't end up reading a bunch of transphobic blogs or something of the sort. It's definitely not okay for him to continuously talk about it that way, and it definitely seems like he needs to be educated. Good luck if you decide to talk to him about it :slight_smile: