From non binary/queer to trans*?

I felt something similar. I started by thinking I was pangender [some term I found online, I don't even really remember what it means now] Then when I felt like that was wrong I tried NB genderqueer since it was broad and had a lot of wiggle room. As time goes on I'm more and more certain I'm a transman, but one who doesn't need physical transition.

Basically if you look at it like a line, I figure this is what mine looks like

Woman-------------------------------mid------------------Me-----------Man

Not all the way over but close enough that calling myself a Non-Op Transman seems the best fit. My gender never changed through all this, I just got closer and closer to figuring it out.

Gender can be tough. And it often seems to take time to unravel and really understand. Do you see a counselor or therapist?

 

Short version is, outside of feminist social science, concept of being non binary is just not there. No evidence to support it. It's based on some gender constructionist idea. In actual reality gender seems to be as binary as sex is.

 

I think a lot of people went this way, me included. It always was about me being mentallymele and physically female, but I built all sorts of complicated interpretations, because I'm not trans dnough in all possible ways. I "tried" all the labels out there, because I didn't really see myself as a guy and was convinced that being trans has something to do with this. Even though I knew I was biologically trans all the way, and I just fidn't call it this way. Similarily to SiKeHe, I don't want or need to transition.

 

I went a similar way. I thought I was just a tomboy, but tomboys are not jealous of men. So I knew what I was.

Better examine what makes you think you're non-binary. Sometimes dysphoria is bad other times it's not there. This can lead to misconceptions.

 

Exactly! In other words, not at all.

I've recently been reading a lot about intersex people and I have to say that sex is a lot less set than I first realised - there are a whole heap of different ways to be intersex, just like there are a whole heap of ways to be nonbinary. In that respect the two are very similar, two sides of a coin one might say.
I also want to note other cultures recognise more than two genders and have done for centuries.

 

Judith Butler.

 

Well, all that I know is that I am definetely neither female nor male. I don't care if there is 'scientific evidence' because to me it's enough evidence that I feel that way and lots of other people do as well. Remember that there was a time when there was no 'scientific evidence' for the existence of binary trans people. And they existed anyway. And it was terrible that their identity was considered a mental illness. True, so far there is no scientific proof for the existence of nonbinary gender identities. But there is no proof that they don't exist either.

It makes me really sad when people who are part of the lgbt-community themselves invalidate my identity. I think that all of us, who have to deal with being different from what is considered 'normal' in our society should embrace and accept each other's differences and identities. I'd like this forum to be a save space where no one has to be afraid to be invalidated.

Anyway, regarding your question Emma: I don't think there is something like a 'real' trans or nonbinary person because in the end everybody's experience is slightly different. It all comes down to how you define yourself. Apart from this, if you feel that you would be more comfortable in a girls body, that's a strong indicator you're binary trans. If you think that something would still be 'wrong' even if you were born the 'opposite' sex, it's more likely you are nonbinary. At least that's how I see it. I hope it helped a little.

 

Wrong. Intersex is a condition, not a sex. Its inter-sex, between sexes. Two sexes. There are two, and any genetic or phenotypical anomalies do not change that. People who make a claim it's a separate sex, that sex is not binary etc. are just ideologues that use semantics to obscure obvious facts. There are people who have six fingers, and nobody claims that number of fingers in a human hand is fluid. But, fingers aren't politicised. Sex and gender are, so that's how false claims are perpetuated.

And I'm only pointing that out because it's important that someone objects to "helping"others through misinformation. Feel free to disagree, however choosing to follow non scientific and non fact based route should be something done as a conscious decision.

 

Not even going to take the bait of the above comments. Anyway. HI!:smilewave There is no wrong way to be non-binary gender queer or even transgender. It is about what you feel you are on the inside. Transgender just means that your internal gender doesn't match what you are physically on the outside. Usually people use it to refer to Males who are born female or Females who are born male. Non-Binary also just means that you aren't one gender (based on the word itself). Again just a broader picture of the terms.

It took me a little while to find the term that worked best to describe my gender. Just take your time and really think about it. Often people use little steps to come out like coming out as bisexual before coming out as gay/lesbian. Usually it is best to have one coming out, but you can change the label of your identity as many times as you need to in order to find what fits you. Everyone experiences gender differently. Take your time and think through what it is you are feeling/experiencing.

 

I have to agree with this myself.

If there was a third sex/gender, there would also be third sex characteristics. As a political construct we might refer to things as such, but it's not physical.

Like, I can understand a person's expression being fluid or non-binary(?) etc, but those are largely based on social norms rather than biological norms. It's not a disrespect to people that genuinely have confused or shifting feelings of such, but how does a person quantify male/female actions responses or feelings to begin with?

If a person really was non-binary, I'd personally expect an absence of sexual characteristics, or if a person was bigender, a mix of both. The closest a person gets is by a deformation or biological issue at birth resulting in a person being physically this way (Between sexes, intersex), but that's not to say even mentally they would align.

 

Non-binary basically means outside the binary. So being trans is still being non-binary, it's just a more specific term. For example, I identify as agender but I prefer the term non-binary. Non-binary is an umbrella term, so basically as long as you don't fit on the gender binary you're a "real" nb!

 

Binary trans people exist. There's nothing inherently nonbinary about being trans. Men and women are the two binary genders; trans men are men and trans women are women, so they are binary.


I don't think there's really a set way to know who's a "real" anything. For some people, gender is very clear cut and simple and for some people it's not. If it's not simple for you, there isn't really a way to just know. It takes a whole bunch of questioning and examining your feelings and all that stuff.

 

This was me, at first I thought I was agender, then demiboy and now male. I'm not out, but I think I was scared of being trans.

 

Exact same for me. I identified as genderqueer and used they/them, but I slowly began to realise that I was male, but kind of a feminine male. I realised that I am jealous of men and everything about them, in a way that I want to be exactly like them. Like Jack said,
if there was a line, for me it would be:
------female------------middle--------------me-----------male

I guess that sort of qualifies as demiboy, but I identify as male and that is fine, I'm just more androgynous. I will tell you at times it can be confusing for me, but I always come back to the male label. If you ever need to talk, I'm here

 

Do you realise that considering men and women overlap like 6:4 or 7:1, 8:1 (all that depends what criteria you use, what kind of trait analysis) in most things, that completely destroys those spectrums and charts and whatnot? It's quite clear that a significant portion of men and women are practically the same? In that gender spectrum hypothesis that would make like 10-20 percent of people effectively of neutral gender, and yet, nope, ain't like that at all.

Key is in how you inherently respond to environment on a more neurological/hormonal level and that's just binary. And binary is the only explanation there exist pairs of people that are exactly the same In how they conduct their lives, and yet represent men or women.

It's just like with the "gender is a social construct because there exist men and women who are practically the same". It seems that people completely and utterly fail to understand that gender differences are in likelihood and spread of traits among population, and not about 2 exclusive boxes standing in opposition to each other. And even more peculiar is that people who push non binary the hardest actually make the binary the most artificially mutually exclusive, because they can't understand what overlap of traits/interests means effectively.