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I was outed

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by purplepuppy, Feb 12, 2017.

  1. purplepuppy

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    So I wear glasses and having been thinking about laser eye surgery so I contacted a company about it and looked at some stuff on their website; they required a name and E-mail address so I gave my preferred name and E-mail. They also asked for my address so they could find my nearest clinic which I gave, they then offered to post me an information booklet which I declined. They sent it anyway addressed to my female name and in the process managed to out me to my Mum who has taken it very well and accepted I'm not ready to talk to her about it.
     
  2. Quantumreality

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    You know, purplepuppy, there are worse ways to be Outed. And, since your mom took it so well, that is a very good thing. I know how very hard it can be when you aren't yet ready (mentally and emotionally) to be Out to your parents, but I would suggest that you take a little time to get your thoughts in order and then have an open discussion about this with your mom. I think the relationship between the two of you will most likely be stronger for it. At a minimum, you no longer have to hide who you really are from her.

    Just some thoughts. I don't know if that helps...:slight_smile:
     
  3. dizzyizzy

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    It will be ok. I can tell from experiance. My school outed me to my parents without my permission because they over heard me tell my friends. All i can say is, keep calm, dont stress and she took it ok. Yes you didnt think you would have to talk this soon but hey it will be better in the long run.
     
  4. Kasey

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    I was outed to my parents in a similar manner...
     
  5. Irisviel

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    sucks in principle, but considering your mother took it well then I guess that's a fortunate accident to have this out of the way. You know, they accidentally removed the fear of beginning the conversation from you had you been planning to come out some day. I mean, that means transition would also be easier for making family issues settled sooner, right? So while this is not good and certainly would've been awdful if your mother was not accepting, but if I were you I would have taken this accident for the positive impact it can have on your future.
     
  6. darkcomesoon

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    It's really stressful to be outed before you're ready, but it sounds like it went pretty well, all things considered. When it starts to feel stressful or make you unhappy, take some deep breaths and do something that distracts you. Remind yourself that you don't have to talk to her about it yet, that absolutely nothing has to change until you're ready, and that when you are ready to talk to her, she's ready to love and accept you the way you are, and that's fantastic.
     
  7. purplepuppy

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    so update; I've E-mailed them and explained the whole situation, they said they would reply in 48 hours, that was Saturday the 11th, still heard nothing and I don't think they care.
     
  8. UntitledT

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    The best thing to do rn is just relax and move on to other things. Sometimes being outed works out for the better. I was outed fairly recently by a police officer after losing my license and getting pulled over for an honest mistake. In no way can I blame the officer, because he honestly was just doing his job by running my name to make sure I was legally allowed to drive. There was something good that came out of it though. After being scared shitless that a friendship I had made a few months before would be destroyed, even with me having to present my birth name, which is VERY feminine, my friend still referred to me using my correct pronouns to the police officer and no part of our relationship had changed. In fact, it made us closer as friends because he now understands more of my experiences and I don't have to be as vague when referring to certain surgeries I have to save up for/ changes I've been receiving on T that has been noticeable.